So much for every week, but to keep anyone interested posted.
The Prozac has been working pretty well for me. I am adapting to the real world much better. I am still a little tired in the evening, more tired than I want to be, but I am trying to change around my sleep habits to see if this will help. I had the option of uping my dose to 20 mgs, rather than then ten I am currently taking, but I opted not too.
I am still glad I made the switch from Lexapro to Prozac, and I am definitely glad I am taking an SSRI. I am happier and more active, even though my energy is not entirely back.
I received some emails about the alcohol, which inspired me to actually update this blog. My issues with alcohol are no different than they were with lexapro or right before I started taking lexapro. I can drink wine and whisky no problem. I still get hung over, but not the crazy flu likee hang overs I was complaining about before. I also can handle a few beers of certain types (heineken and bud light) much better than other beers. Someone had mentioned this early on in my blog, but I know when I started drinking if I am going to feel sick or not. I do not think I am allergic to Beer, because I do not break out in hives or rashes.... I just began to feel sick to my stomach. My friends thinks maybe I am growing an intolerance to beer, but I have never heard of that. I think, once I find the time, I am going to finally go to a specialist to figure this out.
Thank you for the emails, and I apologize for the lack of updates. I hope people can find information the need through previous posts and comments / advice that other people have left here.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Tuesday April 21, 2009
My life is becoming more normal. I am still tired in the mornings and in the afternoon, but not as bad as it was when I was on Lexapro. To this day, I still have not gone to the gym. I am running, and this makes me feel better in the afternoons, but I have this fear of the gym. I laugh to myself about it, because its crazy, but I still do not go. There is obviously something wrong there, and that is the only reason I am continuing with my therapy.
I have been going to work every day (when on lexapro, I worked mostly from home because I was so tired in the morning). I have been more focused at work and when doing things. When I get home from work, my motivation for things drops, but I am still able to force my self to go running and make dinner.
Alcohol wise, I drink on the weekends. I drank a significicant amount of beer on Friday and had an awful hang over on Saturday. On Saturday I drank a significant amount of whisky and did not have a hang over on Sunday. So I may have a problem with beer, maybe I am allergic. I am going to the doctors again soon to see if this is the case.
I still have not drank coffee, but I am drinking caffeine in the form of tea and soda. I get a stomach ache from coffee and have not figured out why.
My anxiety is practically gone, but I still get a little anxious at night randomly. I will sometimes wake up and have to take a xanax, but that is the only time I ever take it. My only long term worry is when I will have to stop taking prozac. The longer I take it, the harder I think it is going to be to get off of it.
I have been going to work every day (when on lexapro, I worked mostly from home because I was so tired in the morning). I have been more focused at work and when doing things. When I get home from work, my motivation for things drops, but I am still able to force my self to go running and make dinner.
Alcohol wise, I drink on the weekends. I drank a significicant amount of beer on Friday and had an awful hang over on Saturday. On Saturday I drank a significant amount of whisky and did not have a hang over on Sunday. So I may have a problem with beer, maybe I am allergic. I am going to the doctors again soon to see if this is the case.
I still have not drank coffee, but I am drinking caffeine in the form of tea and soda. I get a stomach ache from coffee and have not figured out why.
My anxiety is practically gone, but I still get a little anxious at night randomly. I will sometimes wake up and have to take a xanax, but that is the only time I ever take it. My only long term worry is when I will have to stop taking prozac. The longer I take it, the harder I think it is going to be to get off of it.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Update
Clearly I have been really bad about up dating my blog. It has been probably two or three weeks since I did a legit assessment on how the Prozac has been doing. It is selfish since I received so much help from random strangers when taking the Lexapro and I apologize.
The prozac is a much better SSRI for me. Though I am gruggy when I first wake up, more the majority of the day I have more energy. I am able to stay focused at work and I feel altogether more comfortable. I have began running again every other day, though I have still yet to go to the gym. I have been able to drink alcohol, and this last weekend was the first time I was able to drink a normal amount of beer without throwing up. My caffeine in take is still really low, and I still have not been able to drink coffee.
Two and a half months after starting SSRIs I am starting to feel more like my self. I am not 100% there yet, but I am getting there. My Diet has not changed, but I have increase my cardio exercise which may help. My doctors say that exercise will make it easier to get off the drunk and lower my dependancy on them. Also, I have seen a Pyscologist every week, and just talking with someone has helped. Its expensive, and I am going to start see her every other week and eventually only when needed. I think the combination of seeing her, the prozac, the exercise, and enjoying what I am doing at work more, have all contributed to me feeling better.
I appologize again for the lack of communication on this blog. I disappeared without even saying if I was done with it or not. I check my email / reply to emails daily, but I was just too lazy to take care of this which is probably more important. I am going to updathe this weekly, because I do not see a point in giving my daily updates if nothing is changing. If something suddenly happens, of course I will share it.
Thanks again and I will try to remain more faithful.
The prozac is a much better SSRI for me. Though I am gruggy when I first wake up, more the majority of the day I have more energy. I am able to stay focused at work and I feel altogether more comfortable. I have began running again every other day, though I have still yet to go to the gym. I have been able to drink alcohol, and this last weekend was the first time I was able to drink a normal amount of beer without throwing up. My caffeine in take is still really low, and I still have not been able to drink coffee.
Two and a half months after starting SSRIs I am starting to feel more like my self. I am not 100% there yet, but I am getting there. My Diet has not changed, but I have increase my cardio exercise which may help. My doctors say that exercise will make it easier to get off the drunk and lower my dependancy on them. Also, I have seen a Pyscologist every week, and just talking with someone has helped. Its expensive, and I am going to start see her every other week and eventually only when needed. I think the combination of seeing her, the prozac, the exercise, and enjoying what I am doing at work more, have all contributed to me feeling better.
I appologize again for the lack of communication on this blog. I disappeared without even saying if I was done with it or not. I check my email / reply to emails daily, but I was just too lazy to take care of this which is probably more important. I am going to updathe this weekly, because I do not see a point in giving my daily updates if nothing is changing. If something suddenly happens, of course I will share it.
Thanks again and I will try to remain more faithful.
Monday, March 23, 2009
Update - weekend
Sorry, I have not been faithful to these postings recently. Work has pushed me to the edge and my weekend was filled doing things I wanted to get done during the week.
Anyways, the prozac has increased my day time energy. I am still tired when I wake up, but I am not longer a waste of space 9 am - 11 am like I was with the lexapro. It is easier to focus on my work, and my day goes by a little faster. I do get tired though at the end of the day. Its not a crash, but starting around 6 or 7 pm I get really tired.
I have had no side effects with the change. I was able to drink a little more alcohol this weekend, and I was not overly hung over the next day or felt sick during. I still have a fear of the gym, but I went running today. It hurt, but I am going to continue and try to keep it up.
Anyways, the prozac has increased my day time energy. I am still tired when I wake up, but I am not longer a waste of space 9 am - 11 am like I was with the lexapro. It is easier to focus on my work, and my day goes by a little faster. I do get tired though at the end of the day. Its not a crash, but starting around 6 or 7 pm I get really tired.
I have had no side effects with the change. I was able to drink a little more alcohol this weekend, and I was not overly hung over the next day or felt sick during. I still have a fear of the gym, but I went running today. It hurt, but I am going to continue and try to keep it up.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Day 4
I am sleeping fine, but I keep waking up naturally around 7 am ish. I don't know if one of my roommates is accidentally waking me up or what, but I am waking up. I fall back to sleep, but only to wake up between 8 and 830.
My morning energy is higher than it was a week ago. I don't know if its the lack of lexapro bringing me down or the prozac raising my energy, or a combination of both. Its only been four days, and I am having no side effects from the switch from lexapro to prozac and my energy levels are higher. Today I left my house at 8 30 am and did not get home from work utnil 8 30 pm. I didn't become tired until around 7 30ish and thats because I was getting hungry.
So I don't know if its the lack of lex or the active effects of prozac, but so far I am having a better experience with prozac. I hope this continues.
My morning energy is higher than it was a week ago. I don't know if its the lack of lexapro bringing me down or the prozac raising my energy, or a combination of both. Its only been four days, and I am having no side effects from the switch from lexapro to prozac and my energy levels are higher. Today I left my house at 8 30 am and did not get home from work utnil 8 30 pm. I didn't become tired until around 7 30ish and thats because I was getting hungry.
So I don't know if its the lack of lex or the active effects of prozac, but so far I am having a better experience with prozac. I hope this continues.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Day 3
I slept fine last night.
Its still hard to get out of bed, but once I get moving I am more motivated to leave my bedroom and eventually leave my house to go to work. Both Monday and this morning I naturally have woken up at 7 am without my alarm but I go back to sleep until my alarm goes off at 8. I feel like I could actually get up at 7, but I rather sleep in (imagine that).
I was by myself at work today, but remained more busy than usual. I was not as tired today, but I also only worked 6.5 hours.
This evening, I hung out with my friends at a bar. This is something I never do, and I was happy that I actually went out to meet up with them. I had a drink and did not feel sick. I felt like I could have another, but I had to drive so why take a chance. This is good though, because I am not feeling sick. At the same time, I have not tried drinking beer yet; something I may try this weekend.
I still have not gone to the gym. I really need to break this habit. I can feel my body mass changing since it has been over a month since I have gone to the gym.
Its still hard to get out of bed, but once I get moving I am more motivated to leave my bedroom and eventually leave my house to go to work. Both Monday and this morning I naturally have woken up at 7 am without my alarm but I go back to sleep until my alarm goes off at 8. I feel like I could actually get up at 7, but I rather sleep in (imagine that).
I was by myself at work today, but remained more busy than usual. I was not as tired today, but I also only worked 6.5 hours.
This evening, I hung out with my friends at a bar. This is something I never do, and I was happy that I actually went out to meet up with them. I had a drink and did not feel sick. I felt like I could have another, but I had to drive so why take a chance. This is good though, because I am not feeling sick. At the same time, I have not tried drinking beer yet; something I may try this weekend.
I still have not gone to the gym. I really need to break this habit. I can feel my body mass changing since it has been over a month since I have gone to the gym.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Day 1 + 2
I was sick Friday and Saturday, so my energy levels are obviously going to be lower. Ironically, I started Friday thinking its just going to be a rough day with the lexapro and I will have the burst of energy I usually receive around mid day. This never came so I left work early, took my temperature and realized I was sick.
Anyways, my fever has gone away. I took my first Prozac yesterday (Sunday) and did not notice any difference between Prozac and Lexapro. I was tired Sunday and watched a movie all day (Lord of the Rings extended version so it really took all day). My Doctor gave me the heads up and said that I may have trouble sleeping the first few nights since Prozac is a neutral active meaning people either have no change or a slight increase in energy from it (where lexapro is the opposite). I definintly felt groggy after taking the lexapro so the Doctor guessed I will respond to the Prozac the same way. However, last night I had no problem falling asleep.
I did not have any trouble sleeping and I woke up tired as usual. I am taking the pill with food in the morning. I have experienced any side effects from the transition from Lexapro to prozac, and I have not experienced any side effects from the prozac. I am a little more positive because the weather is getting slightly warmer, I am enjoying work slightly more, and I was able to drink a small amount this weekend with out getting sick. My next step will still be conquoring this weird fear of the gym.
Again, I have not noticed any real difference between the prozac and lexapro, but it has only been two days.
Anyways, my fever has gone away. I took my first Prozac yesterday (Sunday) and did not notice any difference between Prozac and Lexapro. I was tired Sunday and watched a movie all day (Lord of the Rings extended version so it really took all day). My Doctor gave me the heads up and said that I may have trouble sleeping the first few nights since Prozac is a neutral active meaning people either have no change or a slight increase in energy from it (where lexapro is the opposite). I definintly felt groggy after taking the lexapro so the Doctor guessed I will respond to the Prozac the same way. However, last night I had no problem falling asleep.
I did not have any trouble sleeping and I woke up tired as usual. I am taking the pill with food in the morning. I have experienced any side effects from the transition from Lexapro to prozac, and I have not experienced any side effects from the prozac. I am a little more positive because the weather is getting slightly warmer, I am enjoying work slightly more, and I was able to drink a small amount this weekend with out getting sick. My next step will still be conquoring this weird fear of the gym.
Again, I have not noticed any real difference between the prozac and lexapro, but it has only been two days.
Postings for now
Thank for you all the posts / emails I received this weekend. I have been fighting a fever and my internet has been off and on so I have not been able to update anything.
So for now I will continue posting things. Since Prozac is an older drug, I am guessing (have not done too much research) there is more information out there. However, I learned many things from the people I have met through emails, so I will continue and hope help will continue and people will gain incite.
So for now I will continue posting things. Since Prozac is an older drug, I am guessing (have not done too much research) there is more information out there. However, I learned many things from the people I have met through emails, so I will continue and hope help will continue and people will gain incite.
Friday, March 13, 2009
Switch From Lexapro to Prozac
If you read my last post, my doctor switched me from lexapro to prozac. She made the decision because she did not like the ringing in my ear and she believes that Prozac will better treat my depression as well as give me more energy.
With that said, tomorrow morning I am going to do some brief internet research to get familiar with Prozac. Posting my day to day experiences has helped me tremendously and I hope this has been beneficial for others as well. I can seriously say, I have received many helpful emails and appreciate all the help and advice.
I created this blog because I was scared of Lexapro because of the overwhelmingly negative reviews online. Again, I am glad I did because talking to other people going through the same thing has truly helped. Because of that, I plan on continuing my postings for now.
Thanks Again,
-David
With that said, tomorrow morning I am going to do some brief internet research to get familiar with Prozac. Posting my day to day experiences has helped me tremendously and I hope this has been beneficial for others as well. I can seriously say, I have received many helpful emails and appreciate all the help and advice.
I created this blog because I was scared of Lexapro because of the overwhelmingly negative reviews online. Again, I am glad I did because talking to other people going through the same thing has truly helped. Because of that, I plan on continuing my postings for now.
Thanks Again,
-David
Day 25 + 26
I have been fighting a fever, so I cannot make a fair judgment on what is causing what effects.
With that said, my journey with lexapro is over. I met with my MD today and she does not think Lexapro is the right SSRI for me. She is is worried about the ear ringing and she said I am really sensitive to some of the side effects, especially the one causing me to be so tired and have extreme exhaustion. She said, and I agree, its is fair to say, Lexapro has really helped with my anxiety. During the past four weeks I have not exprienced any panic attacks and only a few times I needed to take a Xanax. However, it has done nothing for my depression and being tired and unmotivated is just getting me more down.
I have been switched to Prozac. Another drug I know absolutly nothing about, but I will do a little research on it. She said it is an older SSRI and there is more information about it online. I am doing whatever she says, because I want to get better. This may not be a good trait, but I am not one to question my doctor. I do what I am told and hope for the best. I do ask questions about their diagnois but I never will say, "no I dont want to do that....etc".
With that said, my journey with lexapro is over. I met with my MD today and she does not think Lexapro is the right SSRI for me. She is is worried about the ear ringing and she said I am really sensitive to some of the side effects, especially the one causing me to be so tired and have extreme exhaustion. She said, and I agree, its is fair to say, Lexapro has really helped with my anxiety. During the past four weeks I have not exprienced any panic attacks and only a few times I needed to take a Xanax. However, it has done nothing for my depression and being tired and unmotivated is just getting me more down.
I have been switched to Prozac. Another drug I know absolutly nothing about, but I will do a little research on it. She said it is an older SSRI and there is more information about it online. I am doing whatever she says, because I want to get better. This may not be a good trait, but I am not one to question my doctor. I do what I am told and hope for the best. I do ask questions about their diagnois but I never will say, "no I dont want to do that....etc".
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Day 24
I woke up briefly twice last night. I do not think this was from lexapro and am chalking it up as just a bad nights rest. I ate, took my pill, and when to my weekly Wednesday morning therapy.
I do not know if the therapy is helping yet. Maybe because its early in the morning, but I am not gaining too much. I have only had three sessions, but it still cost 160 a session and that is adding up. To her benefit, she has given me some tips about going to the gym and positive self talking, but its still easier said than done. She told me anytime I feel anxious, tired, nervous, sick, or am worrying, to tell myself "This is normal... its ok to be tired...etc". I don't know, i will try but I just do not know how much that will help.
I was exhausted during my therapy and my first few hours of work. I felt better after lunch. I have felt better every day after lunch, but I do not think it has anything to do with what I am eating. I socialize with my co workers at lunch, which I think gives me energy. I do have soda (containing caffeine) but I have green tea in the morning. I also had a soda around 4 today when I got tired and this did not help my energy at all. I left by 5 30!
I ate dinner with my family and was not too tired this evening. Driving home was a breeze; I am no longer too anxious behind the wheel unless I am really tired. The drive some what relaxes me in the evening, nice weather, relaxing radio, no traffic, etc.
I am going to get more sleep tonight (hopefully) and we will see how i feel in the morning.
Breakfast: one egg, whole wheat bagel, green tea
Lunch: ham and cheese on wheat apple, soda
Dinner: penne pasta, chicken, brocolli
Snack: some M&Ms, 2 Natural Valley bars, banana
Exercise: none
I do not know if the therapy is helping yet. Maybe because its early in the morning, but I am not gaining too much. I have only had three sessions, but it still cost 160 a session and that is adding up. To her benefit, she has given me some tips about going to the gym and positive self talking, but its still easier said than done. She told me anytime I feel anxious, tired, nervous, sick, or am worrying, to tell myself "This is normal... its ok to be tired...etc". I don't know, i will try but I just do not know how much that will help.
I was exhausted during my therapy and my first few hours of work. I felt better after lunch. I have felt better every day after lunch, but I do not think it has anything to do with what I am eating. I socialize with my co workers at lunch, which I think gives me energy. I do have soda (containing caffeine) but I have green tea in the morning. I also had a soda around 4 today when I got tired and this did not help my energy at all. I left by 5 30!
I ate dinner with my family and was not too tired this evening. Driving home was a breeze; I am no longer too anxious behind the wheel unless I am really tired. The drive some what relaxes me in the evening, nice weather, relaxing radio, no traffic, etc.
I am going to get more sleep tonight (hopefully) and we will see how i feel in the morning.
Breakfast: one egg, whole wheat bagel, green tea
Lunch: ham and cheese on wheat apple, soda
Dinner: penne pasta, chicken, brocolli
Snack: some M&Ms, 2 Natural Valley bars, banana
Exercise: none
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Day 23
I woke up fine, but slow as usual. However, once I got moving I felt weird and light headed for the first time in awhile. I remember making breakfast and feeling just really anxious. It went away while I ate, and I got in the shower and went to work. (took the pill in the morning as usual)
When I got to work, I was exhausted. I really felt like I was going to pass out this morning. I sat staring at my computer screen. I began to get anxious and panicky and started to do the routine I do when I get so anxious I leave. I made sure I had my xanax (though I knew I had my xanax), I called / emailed my father to see where he was, and I got a glass of water. I sometimes feel like caffeine would help and think about getting a soda before lunch instead of during, but I did not.
I never needed the xanax and this panicky feeling finally went away maybe 40 minutes after it started.
I ate lunch and was semi productive all afternoon. I stayed at work a little later than usual and came home.
I am pretty tired, but what else is new. I didn't go to the gym like I planned. I keep putting it off and off to "I will go tomorrow..." " I will go this weekend....", and so on. I see my psychologist tomorrow and she is going to ask if I went since she wanted me to try and go to break the negative pairing of nausea and the gym. But its impossible to go when I have absolutely no energy.
If anyone has any tips or experiences with this low energy please email me or post it. I have increase my caffeine a little, but I have not seen any positive effect from this. I just want to see if anyone else has had problems with energy and problems with motivating one self to exercise. Thanks!
Breakfast: 2 eggs, whole wheat bagel, green tea
Lunch: Ham and cheese on wheat, apple, cherry zero soda
Dinner: Left over raviolis and chicken, glass of wine
Snack: Banana, Naturals valley bar
Exercise: None
When I got to work, I was exhausted. I really felt like I was going to pass out this morning. I sat staring at my computer screen. I began to get anxious and panicky and started to do the routine I do when I get so anxious I leave. I made sure I had my xanax (though I knew I had my xanax), I called / emailed my father to see where he was, and I got a glass of water. I sometimes feel like caffeine would help and think about getting a soda before lunch instead of during, but I did not.
I never needed the xanax and this panicky feeling finally went away maybe 40 minutes after it started.
I ate lunch and was semi productive all afternoon. I stayed at work a little later than usual and came home.
I am pretty tired, but what else is new. I didn't go to the gym like I planned. I keep putting it off and off to "I will go tomorrow..." " I will go this weekend....", and so on. I see my psychologist tomorrow and she is going to ask if I went since she wanted me to try and go to break the negative pairing of nausea and the gym. But its impossible to go when I have absolutely no energy.
If anyone has any tips or experiences with this low energy please email me or post it. I have increase my caffeine a little, but I have not seen any positive effect from this. I just want to see if anyone else has had problems with energy and problems with motivating one self to exercise. Thanks!
Breakfast: 2 eggs, whole wheat bagel, green tea
Lunch: Ham and cheese on wheat, apple, cherry zero soda
Dinner: Left over raviolis and chicken, glass of wine
Snack: Banana, Naturals valley bar
Exercise: None
Monday, March 9, 2009
Day 22
I woke up a little late and a little tired. Once I got going, I started my work day from home. I did have some green tea with breakfast this morning. I didn't really react at all to the caffeine. It didn't wake me up and I didn't feel nauseous. I will try again tomorrow. I am going to build up to coffee this weekend.
Around 10 or 11, my right ear was ringing more than usual. I have noticed it more and more through out the day. I went for a walk around noon and noticed it. I went to work around 1 and finished my day in the office (change of scenery) . My ear rang there.
This evening I have counted three times where the ringing bothered me.
I did, however, call my psychiatrist to get her opinion. She got back to me this evening. She said that ringing in the ear is a side effect, not as common, but still a side effect. She said I can still develop side effects three weeks into taking the medicine. I have three choices: stop lexapro and try a new drug, lower my dose, or ride it out. I am going to ride it out for the rest of the week. My mother has ear problems and her doctor recommends dynatap (spelling) for drying liquid in the ear. If it gets real bad, I am going to my General doctor to get it checked out.
Other than that, I have been tired, but not too bad. This evening I had a few ounces of wine. I don't drink wine; I am a beer and whisky man. But right now, my body is rejecting beer, so I am starting to experiment to see what happens. The wine settled this weekend, so I drank more to a point where I was slightly buzzed, and didn't feel sick. I am not going to try and get drunk, but this weekend I am going to increase the amount of wine to see what happens.
Breakfast: Oatmeal + tea
Lunch: Top roman + peanut butter and jelly on wheat
Dinner: Cheese raviolis, Chicken Thigh, broccoli + asparagus
Snack: Naturals valley bar, two apple sauce cups, an apple, a cherry soda zero
Exercise: Walk around the block
Around 10 or 11, my right ear was ringing more than usual. I have noticed it more and more through out the day. I went for a walk around noon and noticed it. I went to work around 1 and finished my day in the office (change of scenery) . My ear rang there.
This evening I have counted three times where the ringing bothered me.
I did, however, call my psychiatrist to get her opinion. She got back to me this evening. She said that ringing in the ear is a side effect, not as common, but still a side effect. She said I can still develop side effects three weeks into taking the medicine. I have three choices: stop lexapro and try a new drug, lower my dose, or ride it out. I am going to ride it out for the rest of the week. My mother has ear problems and her doctor recommends dynatap (spelling) for drying liquid in the ear. If it gets real bad, I am going to my General doctor to get it checked out.
Other than that, I have been tired, but not too bad. This evening I had a few ounces of wine. I don't drink wine; I am a beer and whisky man. But right now, my body is rejecting beer, so I am starting to experiment to see what happens. The wine settled this weekend, so I drank more to a point where I was slightly buzzed, and didn't feel sick. I am not going to try and get drunk, but this weekend I am going to increase the amount of wine to see what happens.
Breakfast: Oatmeal + tea
Lunch: Top roman + peanut butter and jelly on wheat
Dinner: Cheese raviolis, Chicken Thigh, broccoli + asparagus
Snack: Naturals valley bar, two apple sauce cups, an apple, a cherry soda zero
Exercise: Walk around the block
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Day 21
I was not tired when going to bed last night. This sucked, because I had to get up early plus loosing an hour of sleep. I woke up completely unmotivated to do what I had to do, but I managed.
I'm just going to say it, I feel better but its really hard to get up in the morning. I know that after an hour or so of being up, I will have more energy, but there are so many times during that first hour that I want to go back to bed. Tomorrow morning, I am going to try caffeine in the form of tea for the first time in probably a month. If that goes well, I am going to finally try coffee again on another day and see what happens.
Anyways, most of this morning I was pretty tired and did not really have an energy boost to after lunch time. I was at a brunch, but I did not eat that much.
I got home around 3 30 ish and I washed my car. Afterwards, I did some stuff on the internet. I layed down for a second, and before I knew it, I had fallen asleep for about 2 hours. I was going to go to the gym with my roommate, but he pulled out and I am too tired to try going by myself.
Even with my nap, I am still really tired. Hopefully this tiredness is from my lack of sleep last night, but I do not know.
Someone recommended making a list of things I want to accomplish for the day. I think I am going to start doing that as well as make goals of experimentation with the things that I have been hesitant to try (coffee, alcohol, gym, I am sure there are others). I keep telling myself I will drink this, or I will go to the gym, but I never end up doing it. I think writing down that "on tuesday night at 7 pm, I am going to the gym..." will help.
Breakfast: two eggs and oatmeal
Lunch: picked on honey baked ham, brownies, and fruit salad
Dinner: chicken theigh and peanut butter and jelly sandwich
Exercise: none
I'm just going to say it, I feel better but its really hard to get up in the morning. I know that after an hour or so of being up, I will have more energy, but there are so many times during that first hour that I want to go back to bed. Tomorrow morning, I am going to try caffeine in the form of tea for the first time in probably a month. If that goes well, I am going to finally try coffee again on another day and see what happens.
Anyways, most of this morning I was pretty tired and did not really have an energy boost to after lunch time. I was at a brunch, but I did not eat that much.
I got home around 3 30 ish and I washed my car. Afterwards, I did some stuff on the internet. I layed down for a second, and before I knew it, I had fallen asleep for about 2 hours. I was going to go to the gym with my roommate, but he pulled out and I am too tired to try going by myself.
Even with my nap, I am still really tired. Hopefully this tiredness is from my lack of sleep last night, but I do not know.
Someone recommended making a list of things I want to accomplish for the day. I think I am going to start doing that as well as make goals of experimentation with the things that I have been hesitant to try (coffee, alcohol, gym, I am sure there are others). I keep telling myself I will drink this, or I will go to the gym, but I never end up doing it. I think writing down that "on tuesday night at 7 pm, I am going to the gym..." will help.
Breakfast: two eggs and oatmeal
Lunch: picked on honey baked ham, brownies, and fruit salad
Dinner: chicken theigh and peanut butter and jelly sandwich
Exercise: none
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Day 19 + 20
Thursday night and Friday night I slept fine; sleep has become a problem of the past and I hope it stays like that.
Friday was a slow day at work. I am still waking up exhausted in the mornings, and I was slow to get to work, but once there I feel more normal than I did before I started lexapro. I had a phone meeting which I was not anxious about at all. It was almost to the point where I didn't care and did not thing to prepare for this meeting. Maybe it was because its Friday, but there was a lack of motivation or caring at work.
That night I decided not to go out. With this beautiful weather, I thought I would try and go running, but I still can't manage to get myself to do that.
I had an old friend come over and hang out. I decided to try having a beer to see how my stomach would handle it. It took me awhile to drink one beer, but I was able to hold it down. However, I became really tired after wards, but it was almost 12 30 am, so I guess that could be normal.
Saturday I was suppose to wake up a little earlier and spend some time with my family. I slept in and when my father called to see if I wanted a ride to meet up with them, I decided I was too tired to go. They understand that I am trying to get healthier / mentally better, so they didn't get mad. It was just still disappointing to me that I was so exhausted that I would rather sleep in than spend sometime with them.
That after noon, I forced my self to get out of the house and I met a friend for lunch. I walked around the city with her, which was relaxing and came home.
Tonight I tried drinking a little wine, and my stomach feels fine. I have never been a wine drinking, but I am beginning to experiment to see how my stomach reacts to different liquids. I feel fine, not full, but I am not drinking to get drunk. Next week, I may drink a more to see how I would really react if I were to get drunk.
I am about to go to bed. My ear has begun to ring again, but my head does not hurt. I have noticed in the last couple of days that the more tired I am, the more my ears ring / slightly hurt. I say slightly, because its a sudden sharp pain but immediately goes away.
Friday:
Breakfast: english muffin, two eggs
Lunch: Tofu soup, green tea
Dinner: Penne Pasta, Asparagus, Broccoli
Snack: Apple, banana, one clementine, natural valleys, apple sauce, some peanut m&ms, soda
Saturday
Breakfast: Oatmeal, banana
Lunch: Turkey, ham, swiss sandwich on wheat
Dinner: Chicken, Top roman, ham and cheese sandwich
**Remember to turn your clocks ahead an hour!!!!
Friday was a slow day at work. I am still waking up exhausted in the mornings, and I was slow to get to work, but once there I feel more normal than I did before I started lexapro. I had a phone meeting which I was not anxious about at all. It was almost to the point where I didn't care and did not thing to prepare for this meeting. Maybe it was because its Friday, but there was a lack of motivation or caring at work.
That night I decided not to go out. With this beautiful weather, I thought I would try and go running, but I still can't manage to get myself to do that.
I had an old friend come over and hang out. I decided to try having a beer to see how my stomach would handle it. It took me awhile to drink one beer, but I was able to hold it down. However, I became really tired after wards, but it was almost 12 30 am, so I guess that could be normal.
Saturday I was suppose to wake up a little earlier and spend some time with my family. I slept in and when my father called to see if I wanted a ride to meet up with them, I decided I was too tired to go. They understand that I am trying to get healthier / mentally better, so they didn't get mad. It was just still disappointing to me that I was so exhausted that I would rather sleep in than spend sometime with them.
That after noon, I forced my self to get out of the house and I met a friend for lunch. I walked around the city with her, which was relaxing and came home.
Tonight I tried drinking a little wine, and my stomach feels fine. I have never been a wine drinking, but I am beginning to experiment to see how my stomach reacts to different liquids. I feel fine, not full, but I am not drinking to get drunk. Next week, I may drink a more to see how I would really react if I were to get drunk.
I am about to go to bed. My ear has begun to ring again, but my head does not hurt. I have noticed in the last couple of days that the more tired I am, the more my ears ring / slightly hurt. I say slightly, because its a sudden sharp pain but immediately goes away.
Friday:
Breakfast: english muffin, two eggs
Lunch: Tofu soup, green tea
Dinner: Penne Pasta, Asparagus, Broccoli
Snack: Apple, banana, one clementine, natural valleys, apple sauce, some peanut m&ms, soda
Saturday
Breakfast: Oatmeal, banana
Lunch: Turkey, ham, swiss sandwich on wheat
Dinner: Chicken, Top roman, ham and cheese sandwich
**Remember to turn your clocks ahead an hour!!!!
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Day 18
So last night I took the Tylenol for my head ache and it worked much better than the ibuprofen.
I slept fine, but again I woke up exhausted. I had a slight headache, but that was gone by the time I left for work. I was very groggy and slow moving. I usually get to work around 9 30, today I did not leave for work until 9 40ish. Once at work though, I had a good amount of energy. In fact, I was not tired at all today, starting around noon. I didn't feel crazy energetic, but I didn't feel like I could fall asleep as anytime.
I am not going to do anything about this lack of energy until I see my psychiatrist again mid March. However, if my headache returns I will be going back to my doctor.
I want to start to re introduce somethings into my diet. I am going to start with tea, then caffeinated tea, then coffee. I also will experiment with alcohol again. Lastly, I want to start going to the gym again, which I will start this weekend. Yesterday my psychologist thinks I have these negative embedded pairings in my head that I need to break. First is that I always think I will get sick at the gym, so now when I go to the gym I always nauseous. She said I now pair the gym with nausea. She said the same could possibly be with alcohol and caffeine. I need to slowly try to break these pairings.
Breakfast: two eggs, whole wheat english muffin
Lunch: Subway melt sub (Ham, turkey, cheese, whole wheat bread), apple, soda
Diner: Penne Pasta, Caffeine free tea
Snacks: Natural's Valley Bar, 2-3 Clementines, Banana, apple sauce
Exercise: None
***As you probably noticed, I eat mostly the same foods. I do change it up occasionally with rice instead of pasta, oatmeal instead of eggs, steak, chicken, etc...but I eat mostly the same things.
I slept fine, but again I woke up exhausted. I had a slight headache, but that was gone by the time I left for work. I was very groggy and slow moving. I usually get to work around 9 30, today I did not leave for work until 9 40ish. Once at work though, I had a good amount of energy. In fact, I was not tired at all today, starting around noon. I didn't feel crazy energetic, but I didn't feel like I could fall asleep as anytime.
I am not going to do anything about this lack of energy until I see my psychiatrist again mid March. However, if my headache returns I will be going back to my doctor.
I want to start to re introduce somethings into my diet. I am going to start with tea, then caffeinated tea, then coffee. I also will experiment with alcohol again. Lastly, I want to start going to the gym again, which I will start this weekend. Yesterday my psychologist thinks I have these negative embedded pairings in my head that I need to break. First is that I always think I will get sick at the gym, so now when I go to the gym I always nauseous. She said I now pair the gym with nausea. She said the same could possibly be with alcohol and caffeine. I need to slowly try to break these pairings.
Breakfast: two eggs, whole wheat english muffin
Lunch: Subway melt sub (Ham, turkey, cheese, whole wheat bread), apple, soda
Diner: Penne Pasta, Caffeine free tea
Snacks: Natural's Valley Bar, 2-3 Clementines, Banana, apple sauce
Exercise: None
***As you probably noticed, I eat mostly the same foods. I do change it up occasionally with rice instead of pasta, oatmeal instead of eggs, steak, chicken, etc...but I eat mostly the same things.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Clarify one thing
I chose lexapro as a close to last resort. Thankfully, I was not suicidal, but my personality, daily routine, and altogether wellness had slowly vanished starting last fall to a point where I would not leave my room this January.
I tried energy vitamins, changing my exercise routine, and adjusting my diet, thinking maybe I had low blood sugar or any type of blood sugar problems like my siblings.
I tried sleeping more, I didn't drink as much alcohol and I practically stopped drinking caffeine.
I went to my doctor several times and even tried acupuncture. I went to acupuncture five times, plus tried the herbal medicine that the acupuncturist recommended and provided. I tried cognitive therapy on its own, and this did not work for me.
I was on my way on trying to find a new therapist when I just sort of started to break down worse and worse day by day for a week to a point where it was clear I needed help. That is when a psychiatrist was able to fit me in three days later and I started Lexapro.
I wish I did not need to take any type of SSRI to help me feel better. I wanted to beat this on my own, with out any extra chemicals, but it was clear I needed an extra push. I just wanted to clarify that I am happy that this drug is helping me so far, I still wish I didn't need it in the first place and that I would never recommend this to anyone who has 'slight anxiety' or 'occasionally felt blue'.
Thanks for every one's continuing support!
I tried energy vitamins, changing my exercise routine, and adjusting my diet, thinking maybe I had low blood sugar or any type of blood sugar problems like my siblings.
I tried sleeping more, I didn't drink as much alcohol and I practically stopped drinking caffeine.
I went to my doctor several times and even tried acupuncture. I went to acupuncture five times, plus tried the herbal medicine that the acupuncturist recommended and provided. I tried cognitive therapy on its own, and this did not work for me.
I was on my way on trying to find a new therapist when I just sort of started to break down worse and worse day by day for a week to a point where it was clear I needed help. That is when a psychiatrist was able to fit me in three days later and I started Lexapro.
I wish I did not need to take any type of SSRI to help me feel better. I wanted to beat this on my own, with out any extra chemicals, but it was clear I needed an extra push. I just wanted to clarify that I am happy that this drug is helping me so far, I still wish I didn't need it in the first place and that I would never recommend this to anyone who has 'slight anxiety' or 'occasionally felt blue'.
Thanks for every one's continuing support!
Day 17
Last night I got between 6 and 7 hours of sleep. Today is my second day with my new psychologist, who I go to before work every Wednesday.
I woke up feeling really tired. I took my pill with breakfast and headed to the doctors. When I got there, I was exhausted. During my session I felt like I could fall asleep at any moment. I also felt dehydrated, but I do not know where that came from.
I left and went straight to work. Earlier I was still really really tired, but I was able to focus a little bit on work. Again, and i am able to really notice it now, I have more energy when I am focusing on something but when I loose focus I crash. Its like, if I am not 100% stimulated by what I am doing, my energy is drained.
I was feeling better good in the afternoon. I began to get a headache around 2 or 3. I noticed it at first when I coughed. The pain went away, but every time I coughed it hurt like hell. This eventually went away.
I came home and had a large amount of energy. I didn't go to the gym, but I got stuff I wanted to get done here at home. I ate dinner and watched a movie.
During the movie, my headache started to come back. I do not know if its related with the lexapro, but the front right back to my right ear is in pain. If I wake up tomorrow with this, I am going to the doctor. This is the second time since I started lexapro where I have experienced a bad headache. Last time I tried Ibuprofen and it did nothing. I ended up taking a Xanax that night to fall asleep. This time I am trying Tylenol.
Breakfast: Oatmeal, whole wheat english muffin
Lunch: Ham and cheese, whole wheat bread, apple, can of cherry coke zero
Dinner: Spagetti, sausage, brocolli, esparagus, hot chocolate
Snack: Naturals valley bar, 2-4 clementimes, one banana, two cups of apple sauce, handful of hot tamales
Exercise: None
I woke up feeling really tired. I took my pill with breakfast and headed to the doctors. When I got there, I was exhausted. During my session I felt like I could fall asleep at any moment. I also felt dehydrated, but I do not know where that came from.
I left and went straight to work. Earlier I was still really really tired, but I was able to focus a little bit on work. Again, and i am able to really notice it now, I have more energy when I am focusing on something but when I loose focus I crash. Its like, if I am not 100% stimulated by what I am doing, my energy is drained.
I was feeling better good in the afternoon. I began to get a headache around 2 or 3. I noticed it at first when I coughed. The pain went away, but every time I coughed it hurt like hell. This eventually went away.
I came home and had a large amount of energy. I didn't go to the gym, but I got stuff I wanted to get done here at home. I ate dinner and watched a movie.
During the movie, my headache started to come back. I do not know if its related with the lexapro, but the front right back to my right ear is in pain. If I wake up tomorrow with this, I am going to the doctor. This is the second time since I started lexapro where I have experienced a bad headache. Last time I tried Ibuprofen and it did nothing. I ended up taking a Xanax that night to fall asleep. This time I am trying Tylenol.
Breakfast: Oatmeal, whole wheat english muffin
Lunch: Ham and cheese, whole wheat bread, apple, can of cherry coke zero
Dinner: Spagetti, sausage, brocolli, esparagus, hot chocolate
Snack: Naturals valley bar, 2-4 clementimes, one banana, two cups of apple sauce, handful of hot tamales
Exercise: None
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Day 16
I got seven hours of sleep and did not randomly wake up at all. Its has been a few days since I have had disturbances in my sleep and that's a great thing! However, when I did wake up, it was painful to get up. I just did not want to get out of bed, I wanted to stay in my warm bed and sleep all day. But I should be thankful I even have a job to wake up too, so I got up and got ready.
I took my pill with breakfast and left for work. I was actually much more productive at work and didn't find myself looking at the clock every ten minutes. I enjoy what I am currently doing more than what I have been doing the last couple months, so that is probably a big impact, especially since I am debating leaving this company.
I drove to my parents and ate dinner with them and came home. I watched some tv with my roommate and am now about to go to bed.
Because my biggest problem recently has been energy / motivation I am going to include at the end of every post what I ate that day. Maybe someone will notice something completey missing from my diet. Today isn't the healthiest example, but I will continue to do this until I am confident diet has nothing to do with my energy. When I start exercising, I will start including that in my list too.
Breakfast: two eggs, whole wheat english muffin, cup of hot chocolate
Lunch: ham + cheese whole wheat bread, apple, pretzels, + cherry coke
Dinner: two slices of pizza
snacks at Work: banana, two clementimes, Naturals valley bar, and apple sauce
Exercise: None
I took my pill with breakfast and left for work. I was actually much more productive at work and didn't find myself looking at the clock every ten minutes. I enjoy what I am currently doing more than what I have been doing the last couple months, so that is probably a big impact, especially since I am debating leaving this company.
I drove to my parents and ate dinner with them and came home. I watched some tv with my roommate and am now about to go to bed.
Because my biggest problem recently has been energy / motivation I am going to include at the end of every post what I ate that day. Maybe someone will notice something completey missing from my diet. Today isn't the healthiest example, but I will continue to do this until I am confident diet has nothing to do with my energy. When I start exercising, I will start including that in my list too.
Breakfast: two eggs, whole wheat english muffin, cup of hot chocolate
Lunch: ham + cheese whole wheat bread, apple, pretzels, + cherry coke
Dinner: two slices of pizza
snacks at Work: banana, two clementimes, Naturals valley bar, and apple sauce
Exercise: None
Monday, March 2, 2009
Day 15
I had a little trouble sleeping last night and the ringing returned to my ear again. The buzzing never returned, but the ringing bothered me. Once 1 am rolled around, I took a Xanax and was able to fall asleep.
I naturally woke up around 7 am and the ground was covered with snow. There was no way I could go to work yet, so I thought to go to bed. I ended up getting back up and shoveling my drive way and helped my roommate shovel out his car since he can't work from home. I then went back to bed and ended up sleeping until 11 30 am. I was not motivated to do anything for work, and I had a meeting at 2 pm to introduce me to my new project and team. I wasn't stressed or worried for the meeting, I just had no motivation or energy to care. Once I woke up, I made lunch, and was able to focus a little.
After my meeting, the roads were clearer and I decided to drive into my office since I was getting no work done at home. Once at work, I was able to get more done and was more productive even though there were only two of us in the entire office.
I came home happy that I accomplished somethings, made dinner, and watched another movie with my roommate. I am currently tired and plan on trying to fall asleep when I finish this post.
I really want to figure out this energy thing. The first day I was with the psychiatrist, she did not understand this extreme lack of energy. Again, I feel 100 times more energetic than I did two weeks ago, but I am still overly tired at weird parts of the day. I am hoping that with getting over this depression my energy will return, but we will see.
I naturally woke up around 7 am and the ground was covered with snow. There was no way I could go to work yet, so I thought to go to bed. I ended up getting back up and shoveling my drive way and helped my roommate shovel out his car since he can't work from home. I then went back to bed and ended up sleeping until 11 30 am. I was not motivated to do anything for work, and I had a meeting at 2 pm to introduce me to my new project and team. I wasn't stressed or worried for the meeting, I just had no motivation or energy to care. Once I woke up, I made lunch, and was able to focus a little.
After my meeting, the roads were clearer and I decided to drive into my office since I was getting no work done at home. Once at work, I was able to get more done and was more productive even though there were only two of us in the entire office.
I came home happy that I accomplished somethings, made dinner, and watched another movie with my roommate. I am currently tired and plan on trying to fall asleep when I finish this post.
I really want to figure out this energy thing. The first day I was with the psychiatrist, she did not understand this extreme lack of energy. Again, I feel 100 times more energetic than I did two weeks ago, but I am still overly tired at weird parts of the day. I am hoping that with getting over this depression my energy will return, but we will see.
Two week progress - Thanks for emails and tips
I started Lexapro two weeks ago today (Monday). For me and so far, I believe the positive benefits have out weighed the negative. With that said, I have learned that for me:
Please feel free to email me anything at anytime. I am no doctor and far from an expert, but I have found that discussing / emailing people going through the same thing as I am has been beneficial.
- I must take the pill with food to help prevent nausea
- taking the pill at night messes with my sleep (messed up dreams, randomly waking up, etc)
- always have my xanax with me, because I have had to randomly take it
- I want to be able to enjoy alcohol / caffeine again
- I want an increase in energy and a consistent amount of energy during the day
- I want to gain back my old motivation to do more both socially and for work
Please feel free to email me anything at anytime. I am no doctor and far from an expert, but I have found that discussing / emailing people going through the same thing as I am has been beneficial.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Day 13 + Day 14 - weekend
I had no energy last night, so I am combining yesterday and today's posting.
My weekends are a joke. In college they were a joke because I would spend most of the day in bed, hung over; then spend the night getting drunk. I would be dreading Sunday evenings, knowing I had to start studying and getting school work done.
I continue to spend my Saturday and Sundays in bed. Saturday I woke up around 10 30 am, made lunch, took my pill, and went back to bed. I watched a movie from bed, and didn't really leave my room until 6 pm. Sunday, I slept until 12 55 pm. Sunday I did almost the exact same thing except I watched a movie with one of my house mates and went to the grocery store.
Last weekend I slept in a little too. Maybe I have no motivation to get up on the weekends, because there is nothing I have to do. No work and I don't go to the gym anymore (which bothers the hell out of me).
I took my pill around noon both Saturday and Sunday, rather than 8 30 am like during the week. I wonder if this had to do with my lack of energy or lack of motivation to get up.
My dry mouth has been bothering me a little more this weekend, especially Sunday. Its like when you have dry mouth so you keep your tongue up against the roof of your mouth and behind your teeth. My teeth have also been a little sore. I caught myself biting down on my teeth during the day, especially when I was anxious. I never had problems grinding teeth or anything like that, so I do not know where this is coming from. Maybe it is related to my dry mouth. If I wake up tomorrow morning and this is bothering me, I am going to call my psychiatrist and ask.
I think this week is going to be interesting. I start a new project and will be meeting / working with all new people. The weather is also pretty bad and I always get anxious driving in bad weather. I use to just take precautions and that was enough, but now I get super nervous during bad weather (beware Northern Virginia drivers...just kidding).
My weekends are a joke. In college they were a joke because I would spend most of the day in bed, hung over; then spend the night getting drunk. I would be dreading Sunday evenings, knowing I had to start studying and getting school work done.
I continue to spend my Saturday and Sundays in bed. Saturday I woke up around 10 30 am, made lunch, took my pill, and went back to bed. I watched a movie from bed, and didn't really leave my room until 6 pm. Sunday, I slept until 12 55 pm. Sunday I did almost the exact same thing except I watched a movie with one of my house mates and went to the grocery store.
Last weekend I slept in a little too. Maybe I have no motivation to get up on the weekends, because there is nothing I have to do. No work and I don't go to the gym anymore (which bothers the hell out of me).
I took my pill around noon both Saturday and Sunday, rather than 8 30 am like during the week. I wonder if this had to do with my lack of energy or lack of motivation to get up.
My dry mouth has been bothering me a little more this weekend, especially Sunday. Its like when you have dry mouth so you keep your tongue up against the roof of your mouth and behind your teeth. My teeth have also been a little sore. I caught myself biting down on my teeth during the day, especially when I was anxious. I never had problems grinding teeth or anything like that, so I do not know where this is coming from. Maybe it is related to my dry mouth. If I wake up tomorrow morning and this is bothering me, I am going to call my psychiatrist and ask.
I think this week is going to be interesting. I start a new project and will be meeting / working with all new people. The weather is also pretty bad and I always get anxious driving in bad weather. I use to just take precautions and that was enough, but now I get super nervous during bad weather (beware Northern Virginia drivers...just kidding).
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Day 12
I did not have any trouble sleeping last night. Since I have switched to taking the pill in the morning, most of the sleep problems have stopped.
With that said, I only got 6 hours asleep and woke up tired. For the first time in a few days, I did not feel like getting out of bed. But I forced myself out and slowly got ready for work. On Fridays, everyone goes into the office, so I did not work from home.
All morning I was yawning. I had a little bit of energy, probably fueled by the people around me, but I was really really tired. However, after lunch I felt a little better.
I noticed something today during my afternoon at work and this evening when I was debating going out with my friends. I have much more energy now when I am actually doing something or forcing my self to focus on something. Like I become productive when I actually focus on stuff at work and I actually have more energy (and more fun) when I am out interacting with my friends. However, the second I become distracted or become inactive, I crash. For example, the second I look out the window at work, I become really tired and find it hard to refocus. When I came home from work I sat down and became really tired on my couch to the point where I thought I would not go out tonight. I tried taking a nap for an hour and couldn't fall asleep, so I forced myself up and out of the house. As soon as I got to my friends, I had more energy. This tired feeling is the exact same as when I wake up and do not feel like getting out of bed.
This fluctuation in energy could be caused by my lack of good sleep late this week, but I do not know. I will be sleeping in tomorrow so I guess that will be able to tell me. Even though I am having these tired spells, I do feel like my energy has increase significantly from two weeks ago. So far the positives outweigh the negatives, but that is the point of me keeping track of my progress. Now that I am actually going to work and going out on the weekends, my next big test is going to the gym or try going jogging. That will take alot of energy to do, especially by myself, so we will see.
With that said, I only got 6 hours asleep and woke up tired. For the first time in a few days, I did not feel like getting out of bed. But I forced myself out and slowly got ready for work. On Fridays, everyone goes into the office, so I did not work from home.
All morning I was yawning. I had a little bit of energy, probably fueled by the people around me, but I was really really tired. However, after lunch I felt a little better.
I noticed something today during my afternoon at work and this evening when I was debating going out with my friends. I have much more energy now when I am actually doing something or forcing my self to focus on something. Like I become productive when I actually focus on stuff at work and I actually have more energy (and more fun) when I am out interacting with my friends. However, the second I become distracted or become inactive, I crash. For example, the second I look out the window at work, I become really tired and find it hard to refocus. When I came home from work I sat down and became really tired on my couch to the point where I thought I would not go out tonight. I tried taking a nap for an hour and couldn't fall asleep, so I forced myself up and out of the house. As soon as I got to my friends, I had more energy. This tired feeling is the exact same as when I wake up and do not feel like getting out of bed.
This fluctuation in energy could be caused by my lack of good sleep late this week, but I do not know. I will be sleeping in tomorrow so I guess that will be able to tell me. Even though I am having these tired spells, I do feel like my energy has increase significantly from two weeks ago. So far the positives outweigh the negatives, but that is the point of me keeping track of my progress. Now that I am actually going to work and going out on the weekends, my next big test is going to the gym or try going jogging. That will take alot of energy to do, especially by myself, so we will see.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Day 11
Once I feel asleep I slept straight through until my alarm went off. I wanted to sleep in an extra hour, but once I was up, I couldn't fall back to sleep. I had a smaller breakfast (oatmeal and a banana) and took my 10 mg.
I worked from home today (no one goes in on Thursdays at my office). For the second day, I was not too productive but I did have energy. Once I did focus on work, I was able to get some stuff done in a short amount of time.
I have been feeling better everyday but I hope it isn't a placebo effect.
I noticed this a little last night before I went to bed, but I have had a drier mouth. I already drink a large amount of water, but my mouth is drier. This seems to be worse in the evenings and after I brush my teeth.
I am being put on a new project at work starting on Monday. I am not anxious...yet.
I worked from home today (no one goes in on Thursdays at my office). For the second day, I was not too productive but I did have energy. Once I did focus on work, I was able to get some stuff done in a short amount of time.
I have been feeling better everyday but I hope it isn't a placebo effect.
I noticed this a little last night before I went to bed, but I have had a drier mouth. I already drink a large amount of water, but my mouth is drier. This seems to be worse in the evenings and after I brush my teeth.
I am being put on a new project at work starting on Monday. I am not anxious...yet.
Update about me and my current situation
I did not want to include the information below with my day to day progress on lexapro. I do not want to mix my personal problems with my Lexapro experiences, since the point of this blog is to share my experiences with Lexapro, especially the side effects, and not turn this blog into me venting about my depression. With that said, I believe it is important to make notes where I feel I have made break throughs or changes with my depression so people can understand where I am coming from:
I think I have also found the source for my depression. Now its not like I have had a break through, because I have realized this for a while. The more doctors and the more friends I talk to the more obvious it becomes. I like being surrounded by people. I get my energy from working with and interacting with people. I do not get this with my current job or my current living situation.
In college, I was always stimulated by the large amounts of people I lived with / near. I always had something I could do and always had someone to do it with. Studying, projects, eating, going out, out door activities, working out, etc. I would have to purposely close my door when I wanted to be by myself. Now, I am living the exact opposite.
At work, most people are traveling or working from home. If I go in, its me and my office mate and we are lucky if one other person in our hall comes in that day. I am one of the first ones in (around 9 am) and I turn on all the lights in the kitchen and in my hall. My office mate comes in around 11 - noon. My company is very flexible with hours and working conditions, so I can also work from home. When I do that, I am by myself because my roommates also have 9 - 5 jobs.
I use to come home and go straight to the gym, by myself. Almost everyone at this gym speaks Spanish, so I am even more alone there. I didn't think I would mind this, since I am the type of guy that likes to get into the gym quick and be done with it. I use to go to the gym by myself at school and in my parents town and it was fine. However, I always knew people at these gyms. So though I was going by myself, I usually would run into people and still say hello.
At home, one of my roommates is gone before I get up and the other leaves around the same time as me, but we barely see each other. He is in shower when I am in the kitchen and vise-verse. In the evenings, one of my roommates stays in his room all the time while the other sits on the couch and is on his computer the entire time. We talk, but its small pointless talk. Its not like these roommates are strangers; they are friends / roommates from college. I just always had other people around that I never noticed how weird their social habits are. My other friends that did not go to college with me, think my current roommates are like hermits and again, I never noticed this because I always had other people around.
I told my therapist all this and she believes its time for me to quit my job. My family has been telling me this for a while, but its easier said than done. I am very anxious about telling my bosses I am quiting since they have been so good to me. At the same time, I tell myself I would quit in a heart beat if I had health insurance to last me between job transitions. I am also anxious about doing the interview process all over again and afraid of finding a new job and realizing the job is not the source of my problem.
I think I have also found the source for my depression. Now its not like I have had a break through, because I have realized this for a while. The more doctors and the more friends I talk to the more obvious it becomes. I like being surrounded by people. I get my energy from working with and interacting with people. I do not get this with my current job or my current living situation.
In college, I was always stimulated by the large amounts of people I lived with / near. I always had something I could do and always had someone to do it with. Studying, projects, eating, going out, out door activities, working out, etc. I would have to purposely close my door when I wanted to be by myself. Now, I am living the exact opposite.
At work, most people are traveling or working from home. If I go in, its me and my office mate and we are lucky if one other person in our hall comes in that day. I am one of the first ones in (around 9 am) and I turn on all the lights in the kitchen and in my hall. My office mate comes in around 11 - noon. My company is very flexible with hours and working conditions, so I can also work from home. When I do that, I am by myself because my roommates also have 9 - 5 jobs.
I use to come home and go straight to the gym, by myself. Almost everyone at this gym speaks Spanish, so I am even more alone there. I didn't think I would mind this, since I am the type of guy that likes to get into the gym quick and be done with it. I use to go to the gym by myself at school and in my parents town and it was fine. However, I always knew people at these gyms. So though I was going by myself, I usually would run into people and still say hello.
At home, one of my roommates is gone before I get up and the other leaves around the same time as me, but we barely see each other. He is in shower when I am in the kitchen and vise-verse. In the evenings, one of my roommates stays in his room all the time while the other sits on the couch and is on his computer the entire time. We talk, but its small pointless talk. Its not like these roommates are strangers; they are friends / roommates from college. I just always had other people around that I never noticed how weird their social habits are. My other friends that did not go to college with me, think my current roommates are like hermits and again, I never noticed this because I always had other people around.
I told my therapist all this and she believes its time for me to quit my job. My family has been telling me this for a while, but its easier said than done. I am very anxious about telling my bosses I am quiting since they have been so good to me. At the same time, I tell myself I would quit in a heart beat if I had health insurance to last me between job transitions. I am also anxious about doing the interview process all over again and afraid of finding a new job and realizing the job is not the source of my problem.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Day 10 - First day of new therapist
Last night I went to bed with an awful headache. This kept me up for awhile. I took another Ibuprofen (I took one early that evening) and this did nothing. Knowing I had to get up early, I finally took a Xanax. This put me out. I don't want to rely on the xanax, but it has recently been my go to drug for sleep.
For the first time in a few nights, I had a pretty consistent night sleep. Though short (6 hours), I only woke up once between 1 am-ish to 7 am-ish. This is much better than the several times a night I have recently been experiencing. This maybe since I switched my pill schedule to the full ten mgs in the morning with no mgs in the evening, but I will not know for sure until a couple days.
I went to my new therapist today. I clicked much better with this individual, so I think its going to be good. She is out of network, so my insurance will only cover ten sessions in a year. I asked if I should space these sessions out over the year, or maybe just see her every other week. She said this was up to me, but she recommended that I see her consistently for the first month on a weekly basis to avoid that 'get to know you phase' each time I come in. Making sense, I will be seeing her once a week for the next month. Again, I cannot stress this more that Lexapro is my short term solution to my depression / anxiety while therapy is my long term solution.
During my initial consultation, she believed (like my psychiatrist) that lexarpo is the right drug for me. She believes I may have had anxiety all my life, but I was able to always deal with it since I was happy with my surroundings. She believes my panic attacks may have started because my body could not deal with the depression and the anxiety together. She said that very often these two problems piggy back off each other and can take someone down a bad spiral.
After therapy, I went to work and had a pretty good day. Now I was not productive at all, but I was happy and I had a good amount of energy. After work, I spent a few hours doing work around the house and went to bed. I laid in bed for awhile, watching TV, because I did not feel tired. I probably fell asleep around 1 30 am.
For the first time in a few nights, I had a pretty consistent night sleep. Though short (6 hours), I only woke up once between 1 am-ish to 7 am-ish. This is much better than the several times a night I have recently been experiencing. This maybe since I switched my pill schedule to the full ten mgs in the morning with no mgs in the evening, but I will not know for sure until a couple days.
I went to my new therapist today. I clicked much better with this individual, so I think its going to be good. She is out of network, so my insurance will only cover ten sessions in a year. I asked if I should space these sessions out over the year, or maybe just see her every other week. She said this was up to me, but she recommended that I see her consistently for the first month on a weekly basis to avoid that 'get to know you phase' each time I come in. Making sense, I will be seeing her once a week for the next month. Again, I cannot stress this more that Lexapro is my short term solution to my depression / anxiety while therapy is my long term solution.
During my initial consultation, she believed (like my psychiatrist) that lexarpo is the right drug for me. She believes I may have had anxiety all my life, but I was able to always deal with it since I was happy with my surroundings. She believes my panic attacks may have started because my body could not deal with the depression and the anxiety together. She said that very often these two problems piggy back off each other and can take someone down a bad spiral.
After therapy, I went to work and had a pretty good day. Now I was not productive at all, but I was happy and I had a good amount of energy. After work, I spent a few hours doing work around the house and went to bed. I laid in bed for awhile, watching TV, because I did not feel tired. I probably fell asleep around 1 30 am.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Day 9
It was very hard getting out of bed today. I ignored my alarm and did not realize it. Luckily I was at my parents, so my mother woke me up since she was leaving for work. However, this caused a very weird experience. When my mother woke me up, I was very very confused. I had difficulty sleeping and mentioned before that I would be confused when waking up in the middle of the night, but this was different. It took me awhile to adjust and realize where I was. My Mother kept telling me, "its ok, its ok, you are at our house..." I finally snapped out of it and just felt really tired, but it was very weird. It was like waking up standing up, I do not know how else to describe it. Like when you get your wisdom teeth pulled, and the medicine used to knock you out is wearing off. It was like that. This tired feeling disappeared within 30 minutes and I decided to work from my parents house.
This is the first day of taking the full ten mgs in the morning with breakfast. (I am not longer going to list what I have eaten because I haven't had problems mixing any food with this drug other than caffeine and alcohol).
My energy is still fluctuating up and down. The ups are a little higher and I feel slightly more productive but my downs can really cause a crash. The fatigue is no worse than before, but then I do not know what could be lower.
I have noticed a slight decrease in appetite. I am eating less often and less portions. Nothing I am worried about, but something I thought I should share.
This evening, I had a real rush of energy. I ate dinner around 7 pmish and I re organized my entire room, which took several hours.
I started having a headache around 10 PM. It started really hurting, so I took a Motrin IB (Ibuprofen), and tried going to bed.
To make the rest of my posts time accurate, I am going to stop here and continue with my next day posts.
I have caught up with my dates, so all future post will be current
For anyone reading this, the previous 9 days were posted by the day they occurred. For example Wed 18, 2009 postings occurred on Wed 18, 2009.
I have now caught up with my dates and all the following records will reflect the previous night and current day, and I will write my post before I go to bed. I am sure it can be confusing when sometimes I am using words like today, yesterday, etc and I get lost with the days. So now I will post things reflecting from when I go to bed, throughout the night, and the following day. So any problems I have at night will be reflected accurately.
Thanks and I hope my poor writing isn't too confusing.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Day 8
I was exhausted when my alarm went off at 9 am. I emailed my boss and said I would either be coming in late or working from home. I went back to bed and was able to sleep straight from 9 15ish to 12 30ish. This was the longest period of undisturbed sleep I had for that night.
When I finally got out of bed, I took a shower and started to feel like I had more energy. I was able to talk to my Doctor on the phone about the buzzing. She recommended taking my dose only in the morning and trying the full ten mgs at once, rather than five in the morning and five at night. I was still suppose to take mine tonight, but to start taking the full ten tomorrow (Tuesday). She also said stop taking the xanax each time unless I need it.
Though the day was half over, I still went into work. This is a big step for me, because I am still anxious about going into the office since no one is ever really there and it just makes me more depressed.
I had a semi productive day, but I think I was more motivated knowing I was only going to be there for four to five hours. I did get tired in the middle of it, but again, I feel like this is from boredom. I decided to sleep at my parents house, hoping maybe change of environment could help my sleeping.
I was able to easily fall asleep but I still occasionally would wake up. I have noticed that each time I wake up my vision is very blurry, I am pretty dizzy when I open my eyes, and I can become very confused. Once I realize where I am and what is happening (though I can still be pretty confused), I try and force my self to fall back to sleep. If this does not work, I will take a xanax. This night, I did not have to take the Xanax and was able to fall back to sleep each time, but I am not getting good rest and I am very frustrated that I cannot sleep straight.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Day 7 - Research my sleep problem - sleep problems continue
After an awful nights sleep, I still woke up and took my prescribed xanax and lexapro. Maybe I over did the xanax and that caused the buzzing, but I spent most of the day researching this problem.
I had little energy today, probably because of my lack of sleep the previous night. I only ate two meals, taking my pills with both and went to bed between 10 and 11 PM.
Problems from Previous night reoccur
Around 2 am, I suddenly woke up again with the ringing and buzzing. It was awful. I also felt a shortness of breath, and I was so frustrated I felt like crying. I was beyond exhaustion and just wanted to sleep. I felt like I was going to have a panic attack, so I took a xanax and tried to relax. I eventually fell asleep, but I continuously awoke through out the night. I am pretty upset because I use to feel good when I slept and is one of the few things I currently enjoy.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Day 6 - Real Sleep problems begin
I slept soundly, but woke up slightly dizzy around 12 30 PM. This went away after a few minutes. Though I did not do much, I felt like I had a little more energy than usual. I took my medicine with lunch (too late for breakfast), and relaxed for most of the day.
I went out to an early dinner with my roommates, came home and took my lexapro and xanax. Around 5 PM, I decided to take a nap, because I knew I was going out tonight. Laying there, watching TV, I began to get tired but couldn't fall asleep. I took a shower and got ready to go out. I took an extra xanax and brought some more with me when I left the house.
Altogether, the evening was fun. I was not drinking, since my Doctor does not want me to drink alcohol or caffeine. I was home by 2: 30 am and in bed by 3.
Real Sleep Problems began this night
I first woke up around 5 am. I had an awful ringing in my ear. I was at a bar earlier in the night with loud music, so I assumed it was from that. However, when I would try to fall back to sleep, the ringing turned into a buzz in my head... almost like my head was shaking from the inside. Nothing violent, but I could slightly feel and definitely hear a buzz sound. This would happen right as I could feel myself drifting off to sleep. This kept me up for about 30 - 40 minutes, so I finally took a xanax and was able to fall asleep. Between 7 am and 11 am I woke up numerous times.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Day 5 - I actually went into work
I woke up a little before 8 am and took my xanax- lexapro combo. I felt tense and a little tired, but I felt confident that I would have a good day. I took a shower and ate a breakfast of two eggs, a bagel and a banana.
My tension increased as I drove to work. Listening to the radio, specifically talk shows, seems to relax me. I think talk radio gives me the false impression that someone else is there with me and I am apart of the conversation. However, by the time I parked my car, I was really panicky and did not want to get out of my car. I was not having a panic attack, but I could feel the tension getting worse and worse and I wanted to escape the situation and go home. I called my father who convinced me to ride it out and try to go into my office. I was by myself in the office and my tension would come and go. I took another xanax, did some controlled breathing, and began to relax. Within an hour more people started to arrive in the office (people come in between 9 30 and 11), and I started to feel more comfortable.
Other than my morning experience, my energy was up and I almost felt like normal me. My energy disappeared in the afternoon, but so did my office mate's. Our work is boring and we were practically done for the week.
I came home around 4 30 PM and tried to take a nap. I could not fall asleep, but I just laid on my bed watching TV.
I ate dinner with my pills. I was suppose to go to a birthday party, but I had no motivation or energy to go. I ended up watching a movie with my roommates and going to bed. I had no trouble sleeping.
My tension increased as I drove to work. Listening to the radio, specifically talk shows, seems to relax me. I think talk radio gives me the false impression that someone else is there with me and I am apart of the conversation. However, by the time I parked my car, I was really panicky and did not want to get out of my car. I was not having a panic attack, but I could feel the tension getting worse and worse and I wanted to escape the situation and go home. I called my father who convinced me to ride it out and try to go into my office. I was by myself in the office and my tension would come and go. I took another xanax, did some controlled breathing, and began to relax. Within an hour more people started to arrive in the office (people come in between 9 30 and 11), and I started to feel more comfortable.
Other than my morning experience, my energy was up and I almost felt like normal me. My energy disappeared in the afternoon, but so did my office mate's. Our work is boring and we were practically done for the week.
I came home around 4 30 PM and tried to take a nap. I could not fall asleep, but I just laid on my bed watching TV.
I ate dinner with my pills. I was suppose to go to a birthday party, but I had no motivation or energy to go. I ended up watching a movie with my roommates and going to bed. I had no trouble sleeping.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Day 4 - 5 mg in morning, 5 mg at night
I continue with the same schedule as the previous day: I took a 5 mg dose with my .25 xanax with breakfast. I am continuing to work from home, since going into my office depresses me. No one is ever there anyways, since everyone chooses to work from home.
Through out the day I experiences ups and downs. My energy peaks and then falls back down. I compare it to a sugar high or caffeine rush where I am super excited, especially thinking, 'gee, this is really working!' followed by a crash and then wanting to take a nap.
My mood is more positive, but it is still hard to find the energy or motivation to do much.
I finally returned to my house and took my lexapro - xanax combo and went to bed. I am a little anxious because I am going to go into my office tomorrow, since a majority of people go in on Fridays. It will be the first time I have been there in over two weeks.
Through out the day I experiences ups and downs. My energy peaks and then falls back down. I compare it to a sugar high or caffeine rush where I am super excited, especially thinking, 'gee, this is really working!' followed by a crash and then wanting to take a nap.
My mood is more positive, but it is still hard to find the energy or motivation to do much.
I finally returned to my house and took my lexapro - xanax combo and went to bed. I am a little anxious because I am going to go into my office tomorrow, since a majority of people go in on Fridays. It will be the first time I have been there in over two weeks.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Forgot to mention during first three days
I forgot to mention, during these first couple days, I have had a weird high like feeling. Like a bad marijuana high, like I was there, but I felt I was physically behind myself. There is no other way to describe. It was bearable but not enjoyable. This feeling went eventually went away and only returns when I am occasionally really really tired.
Day 3 - 5 mg in the morning, 5 mg at night
Around 10 AM, I took 5 mg plus .25 xanax with my breakfast. I have more energy than usual and have been able to accomplish more work than I have in awhile. This could be a placebo effect, but I do feel better than I did 24 hours ago.
I grow tired as the day goes by, maybe because of boredom with my work or maybe because I work alone. When this would happen, I would get up and walk around. This would temporarily relieve me, but I would again grow tired.
I ate dinner with my parents around 7 - 7 30, taking the same cocktail as before (5 mg plus .25 xanax with food) and relaxed before going to bed. Again, no disturbances of sleep.
I grow tired as the day goes by, maybe because of boredom with my work or maybe because I work alone. When this would happen, I would get up and walk around. This would temporarily relieve me, but I would again grow tired.
I ate dinner with my parents around 7 - 7 30, taking the same cocktail as before (5 mg plus .25 xanax with food) and relaxed before going to bed. Again, no disturbances of sleep.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Day 2 - 5 mgs at night
After getting off the phone with my doctor, I worked from home. I was tired most of the day and felt worse than I have in awhile. This most likely had to do with my lack of sleep and my body being introduced to Lexapro. I was confused, dizzy, and could not focus on the simplest of tasks. I was sick of being alone, so I went to my parents house for dinner and ended up spending the night there.
I took 5 mg of lexapro with a .25 mg of xanax during dinner. Small talking with my parents I regained some energy until I went to bed around 10 30 pm. I had no disturbances during my sleep and woke up around 9 am the next day.
I took 5 mg of lexapro with a .25 mg of xanax during dinner. Small talking with my parents I regained some energy until I went to bed around 10 30 pm. I had no disturbances during my sleep and woke up around 9 am the next day.
Day 1 - 10 mgs
Trying to avoid any possible side effects by sleeping, I decided to take the 10 mg of Lexapro the night I was prescribed the medication rather than wait for the next morning. The instructions say "...anytime, with or without food...", so around midnight I took the pill and went to bed. I had no difficulty falling asleep, however, the drug was not yet in my system.
I woke up around 3:55 am with awful nausea, similar to hunger pains but 100 times worse. 20 minutes later, it became unbearable so I ate half of a banana and tried to fall back to sleep. 5:15 am rolled around and I was still unable to fall asleep and the same nausea was bothering me. Again, I went into the kitchen, this time eating half of a bagel. I climbed back into bed and remembered last looking at the clock at 5 :55 am before I finally fell asleep.
My alarm went off at 8 am, and I decided to sleep in until 9 30 am. I was able to reset my alarm and easily fall back to sleep. When I did wake up, I was in a daze but I believe this was caused by my lack of sleep the previous night.
I called my Psychiatrist and she recommended the following:
I woke up around 3:55 am with awful nausea, similar to hunger pains but 100 times worse. 20 minutes later, it became unbearable so I ate half of a banana and tried to fall back to sleep. 5:15 am rolled around and I was still unable to fall asleep and the same nausea was bothering me. Again, I went into the kitchen, this time eating half of a bagel. I climbed back into bed and remembered last looking at the clock at 5 :55 am before I finally fell asleep.
My alarm went off at 8 am, and I decided to sleep in until 9 30 am. I was able to reset my alarm and easily fall back to sleep. When I did wake up, I was in a daze but I believe this was caused by my lack of sleep the previous night.
I called my Psychiatrist and she recommended the following:
- divide the pill into two, taking 5 mgs in the morning and five in the evening
- since my prescription of xanax is so small (.25 mg), take a xanax whenever I feel anxious taking the pill
- always take the pill with food
Monday, February 16, 2009
My Prescription information
So you don't have to read through my background information if you don't want to, here is my basic information. I will update my dose and times of taking these pills whenever it changes:
David.Lexapro@gmail.com
23 year old male
40 hour work week
Lexapro 10 mgs in the morning
Xanax .25 mgs when needed
Nexium 40 mg for stomach acid in the morning, but switching to Omeprazole soon
Told not to drink Alcohol and caffeine
Quick Background
Why I started this blog:
After being prescribed Lexapro (like anyone else reading this post), I decided to do some research about this drug. I was horrified to find that the internet is flooded with negative feedback, with continuing themes of "STAY AWAY FROM THIS DRUG", "I was better off before Lexapro", "...awful side-affects...withdrawl...", etc. After about two hours of reading individuals' scary encounters (enough to give anybody nightmares) I had to ask my self, Why would anyone take this horrific pill?
Needless to say, I called my Psychiatrist and she put things into prospective. Do a google search on almost any drug (Tylenol, Advil, etc) and you will find mostly bad reviews. And its true, we as a society rarely publicize the good, while openly complaining about the bad.
A week ago, I decided to start taking Lexapro. I am hoping this, combined with cognitive therapy, I can be happy and function normally once again. This first week has been a tough roller coaster and it is very hard to stay positive. I am experiencing those side effects that only "10% this" and "12% that" will experience, however, I have enjoyed a slight increase on my everyday mood and energy levels. With these negative side effects, I find myself waking up in the middle of the night searching online to see how people have dealt with these negative effects. But yet again, I only find the same haunting stories and I end up popping another xanax and finally, thankfully, fall back to sleep.
Well enough is enough. I am going to post my day to day experiences of what Lexapro is doing to my life. In a few weeks, I will hopefully be able to report how wonderfully Lexapro has cured my anxiety / depression or at least I will know, Lexapro is not for me. The point of this blog is simple. I want others to be able to see what Lexapro can do to an unbiased individual trying to get his life back. I would also appreciate any support and advice for me and any anyone reading this looking for help with their experiences on Lexapro.
Why I am on Lexapro / My Background:
I graduated college this spring (May, 2008) and luckily had a job lined up to start early July. Within a month of working, I moved out with some college friends (yet still close to home) and was enjoying life. Working, exercising, drinking coffee during the week, alochol on the weekends.
Come late August I had my first panic attack. I went to the hospital, thinking I was having heart problems, but everything was alright. The ER Dr. didn't even mention the word Panic attack. A week later I had a similar panic spell at work and my sister had to pick me up and take me the hospital again. After checking all my vitals and x-rays, the Dr. started talking to me about my stress levels. He said he couldn't diagnose my problem as panic attacks but that is what he believed was causing my problems. The next morning I saw my General Doctor and she prescribed Xanax.
September, October, November all flew by with a few stressful experiences but no panic attacks and no experiences where I felt necessary to take a xanax. I noticed a decrease in tolerance to coffee (going from a few cups a day to being able to barely down a cup) and I began experiencing a build up in phlegm when I would lift weights.
Come late December I started getting terrible hangovers from drinking alcohol. No matter how much water I drank the next day, I would have awful flu like symptoms and awful pain through out my entire body. Mid January, I barely would drink. It had gotten to the point where if I drank a beer, I would throw up an hour later.
Mid to late January is when I realized I needed help. I was taking a Xanax every other day and I was barely leaving the house. I had no energy, I was always tired and looked forward to going to bed every evening. Being able to work from home, I never went into my office and took naps during the day. I could no longer concentrate on simple tasks and couldn't even look at a page long enough to read a book. I stopped going to the gym and I never went out on the weekends with my friends. If I had to leave my house, I would get one of my roommates to drive because I was afraid of driving any where by myself in the car. I was always tense behind the wheel since I am so tired, afraid I will pass out or get stuck some where and no one will be able to help me.
Not wanting medication, I tried seeing a therapist PH.d. After two sessions, I was not clicking with this individual and am about to start with a new one. At the same time, I tried acupuncture and some herbal medicines. Though the acupuncture was relaxing and the Dr. was very helpful, I still had zero energy and was very unhappy.
So I finally saw a psychiatrist. After an hour session I felt very comfortable and on the same level as she. She believes that I have a mild case of depression with some general anxiety. She is the one who has recommended and prescribed my Lexapro. She warned of the some side effects: nausea and lowered sex drive. She mentioned others but I was so tired that I don't remember all of them. She has also put me in contact with a Psychologist who is more my age.
Useful Links:
I will add links as I find them, please do the same:
General Information
General Information
- http://www.plunk.org/~grantham/public/lexapro.html
- http://depression.emedtv.com/lexapro/lexapro.html
- http://www.pdrhealth.com/drugs/rx/rx-mono.aspx?contentFileName=Lex1642.html&contentName=Lexapro&contentId=303
- http://www.dizzytimes.com/forumdisplay.php?s=72fc393946c381f948a057deb9188508&f=20
- http://blog.mrmedsaver.com/2009/02/from-weasel-drug-rep-use-my-100-drug.html
- http://depression.emedtv.com/lexapro/alcohol-and-lexapro.html
- http://depression.emedtv.com/lexapro/lexapro-sexual-side-effects.html
- http://clinpsyc.blogspot.com/2006/12/sexual-side-effects-of-ssris-even-more.html
- http://www.drugs.com/forum/featured-drugs/how-overcome-lexapro-sexual-side-effects-41717.html
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