Sorry, I have not been faithful to these postings recently. Work has pushed me to the edge and my weekend was filled doing things I wanted to get done during the week.
Anyways, the prozac has increased my day time energy. I am still tired when I wake up, but I am not longer a waste of space 9 am - 11 am like I was with the lexapro. It is easier to focus on my work, and my day goes by a little faster. I do get tired though at the end of the day. Its not a crash, but starting around 6 or 7 pm I get really tired.
I have had no side effects with the change. I was able to drink a little more alcohol this weekend, and I was not overly hung over the next day or felt sick during. I still have a fear of the gym, but I went running today. It hurt, but I am going to continue and try to keep it up.
Monday, March 23, 2009
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Day 4
I am sleeping fine, but I keep waking up naturally around 7 am ish. I don't know if one of my roommates is accidentally waking me up or what, but I am waking up. I fall back to sleep, but only to wake up between 8 and 830.
My morning energy is higher than it was a week ago. I don't know if its the lack of lexapro bringing me down or the prozac raising my energy, or a combination of both. Its only been four days, and I am having no side effects from the switch from lexapro to prozac and my energy levels are higher. Today I left my house at 8 30 am and did not get home from work utnil 8 30 pm. I didn't become tired until around 7 30ish and thats because I was getting hungry.
So I don't know if its the lack of lex or the active effects of prozac, but so far I am having a better experience with prozac. I hope this continues.
My morning energy is higher than it was a week ago. I don't know if its the lack of lexapro bringing me down or the prozac raising my energy, or a combination of both. Its only been four days, and I am having no side effects from the switch from lexapro to prozac and my energy levels are higher. Today I left my house at 8 30 am and did not get home from work utnil 8 30 pm. I didn't become tired until around 7 30ish and thats because I was getting hungry.
So I don't know if its the lack of lex or the active effects of prozac, but so far I am having a better experience with prozac. I hope this continues.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Day 3
I slept fine last night.
Its still hard to get out of bed, but once I get moving I am more motivated to leave my bedroom and eventually leave my house to go to work. Both Monday and this morning I naturally have woken up at 7 am without my alarm but I go back to sleep until my alarm goes off at 8. I feel like I could actually get up at 7, but I rather sleep in (imagine that).
I was by myself at work today, but remained more busy than usual. I was not as tired today, but I also only worked 6.5 hours.
This evening, I hung out with my friends at a bar. This is something I never do, and I was happy that I actually went out to meet up with them. I had a drink and did not feel sick. I felt like I could have another, but I had to drive so why take a chance. This is good though, because I am not feeling sick. At the same time, I have not tried drinking beer yet; something I may try this weekend.
I still have not gone to the gym. I really need to break this habit. I can feel my body mass changing since it has been over a month since I have gone to the gym.
Its still hard to get out of bed, but once I get moving I am more motivated to leave my bedroom and eventually leave my house to go to work. Both Monday and this morning I naturally have woken up at 7 am without my alarm but I go back to sleep until my alarm goes off at 8. I feel like I could actually get up at 7, but I rather sleep in (imagine that).
I was by myself at work today, but remained more busy than usual. I was not as tired today, but I also only worked 6.5 hours.
This evening, I hung out with my friends at a bar. This is something I never do, and I was happy that I actually went out to meet up with them. I had a drink and did not feel sick. I felt like I could have another, but I had to drive so why take a chance. This is good though, because I am not feeling sick. At the same time, I have not tried drinking beer yet; something I may try this weekend.
I still have not gone to the gym. I really need to break this habit. I can feel my body mass changing since it has been over a month since I have gone to the gym.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Day 1 + 2
I was sick Friday and Saturday, so my energy levels are obviously going to be lower. Ironically, I started Friday thinking its just going to be a rough day with the lexapro and I will have the burst of energy I usually receive around mid day. This never came so I left work early, took my temperature and realized I was sick.
Anyways, my fever has gone away. I took my first Prozac yesterday (Sunday) and did not notice any difference between Prozac and Lexapro. I was tired Sunday and watched a movie all day (Lord of the Rings extended version so it really took all day). My Doctor gave me the heads up and said that I may have trouble sleeping the first few nights since Prozac is a neutral active meaning people either have no change or a slight increase in energy from it (where lexapro is the opposite). I definintly felt groggy after taking the lexapro so the Doctor guessed I will respond to the Prozac the same way. However, last night I had no problem falling asleep.
I did not have any trouble sleeping and I woke up tired as usual. I am taking the pill with food in the morning. I have experienced any side effects from the transition from Lexapro to prozac, and I have not experienced any side effects from the prozac. I am a little more positive because the weather is getting slightly warmer, I am enjoying work slightly more, and I was able to drink a small amount this weekend with out getting sick. My next step will still be conquoring this weird fear of the gym.
Again, I have not noticed any real difference between the prozac and lexapro, but it has only been two days.
Anyways, my fever has gone away. I took my first Prozac yesterday (Sunday) and did not notice any difference between Prozac and Lexapro. I was tired Sunday and watched a movie all day (Lord of the Rings extended version so it really took all day). My Doctor gave me the heads up and said that I may have trouble sleeping the first few nights since Prozac is a neutral active meaning people either have no change or a slight increase in energy from it (where lexapro is the opposite). I definintly felt groggy after taking the lexapro so the Doctor guessed I will respond to the Prozac the same way. However, last night I had no problem falling asleep.
I did not have any trouble sleeping and I woke up tired as usual. I am taking the pill with food in the morning. I have experienced any side effects from the transition from Lexapro to prozac, and I have not experienced any side effects from the prozac. I am a little more positive because the weather is getting slightly warmer, I am enjoying work slightly more, and I was able to drink a small amount this weekend with out getting sick. My next step will still be conquoring this weird fear of the gym.
Again, I have not noticed any real difference between the prozac and lexapro, but it has only been two days.
Postings for now
Thank for you all the posts / emails I received this weekend. I have been fighting a fever and my internet has been off and on so I have not been able to update anything.
So for now I will continue posting things. Since Prozac is an older drug, I am guessing (have not done too much research) there is more information out there. However, I learned many things from the people I have met through emails, so I will continue and hope help will continue and people will gain incite.
So for now I will continue posting things. Since Prozac is an older drug, I am guessing (have not done too much research) there is more information out there. However, I learned many things from the people I have met through emails, so I will continue and hope help will continue and people will gain incite.
Friday, March 13, 2009
Switch From Lexapro to Prozac
If you read my last post, my doctor switched me from lexapro to prozac. She made the decision because she did not like the ringing in my ear and she believes that Prozac will better treat my depression as well as give me more energy.
With that said, tomorrow morning I am going to do some brief internet research to get familiar with Prozac. Posting my day to day experiences has helped me tremendously and I hope this has been beneficial for others as well. I can seriously say, I have received many helpful emails and appreciate all the help and advice.
I created this blog because I was scared of Lexapro because of the overwhelmingly negative reviews online. Again, I am glad I did because talking to other people going through the same thing has truly helped. Because of that, I plan on continuing my postings for now.
Thanks Again,
-David
With that said, tomorrow morning I am going to do some brief internet research to get familiar with Prozac. Posting my day to day experiences has helped me tremendously and I hope this has been beneficial for others as well. I can seriously say, I have received many helpful emails and appreciate all the help and advice.
I created this blog because I was scared of Lexapro because of the overwhelmingly negative reviews online. Again, I am glad I did because talking to other people going through the same thing has truly helped. Because of that, I plan on continuing my postings for now.
Thanks Again,
-David
Day 25 + 26
I have been fighting a fever, so I cannot make a fair judgment on what is causing what effects.
With that said, my journey with lexapro is over. I met with my MD today and she does not think Lexapro is the right SSRI for me. She is is worried about the ear ringing and she said I am really sensitive to some of the side effects, especially the one causing me to be so tired and have extreme exhaustion. She said, and I agree, its is fair to say, Lexapro has really helped with my anxiety. During the past four weeks I have not exprienced any panic attacks and only a few times I needed to take a Xanax. However, it has done nothing for my depression and being tired and unmotivated is just getting me more down.
I have been switched to Prozac. Another drug I know absolutly nothing about, but I will do a little research on it. She said it is an older SSRI and there is more information about it online. I am doing whatever she says, because I want to get better. This may not be a good trait, but I am not one to question my doctor. I do what I am told and hope for the best. I do ask questions about their diagnois but I never will say, "no I dont want to do that....etc".
With that said, my journey with lexapro is over. I met with my MD today and she does not think Lexapro is the right SSRI for me. She is is worried about the ear ringing and she said I am really sensitive to some of the side effects, especially the one causing me to be so tired and have extreme exhaustion. She said, and I agree, its is fair to say, Lexapro has really helped with my anxiety. During the past four weeks I have not exprienced any panic attacks and only a few times I needed to take a Xanax. However, it has done nothing for my depression and being tired and unmotivated is just getting me more down.
I have been switched to Prozac. Another drug I know absolutly nothing about, but I will do a little research on it. She said it is an older SSRI and there is more information about it online. I am doing whatever she says, because I want to get better. This may not be a good trait, but I am not one to question my doctor. I do what I am told and hope for the best. I do ask questions about their diagnois but I never will say, "no I dont want to do that....etc".
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Day 24
I woke up briefly twice last night. I do not think this was from lexapro and am chalking it up as just a bad nights rest. I ate, took my pill, and when to my weekly Wednesday morning therapy.
I do not know if the therapy is helping yet. Maybe because its early in the morning, but I am not gaining too much. I have only had three sessions, but it still cost 160 a session and that is adding up. To her benefit, she has given me some tips about going to the gym and positive self talking, but its still easier said than done. She told me anytime I feel anxious, tired, nervous, sick, or am worrying, to tell myself "This is normal... its ok to be tired...etc". I don't know, i will try but I just do not know how much that will help.
I was exhausted during my therapy and my first few hours of work. I felt better after lunch. I have felt better every day after lunch, but I do not think it has anything to do with what I am eating. I socialize with my co workers at lunch, which I think gives me energy. I do have soda (containing caffeine) but I have green tea in the morning. I also had a soda around 4 today when I got tired and this did not help my energy at all. I left by 5 30!
I ate dinner with my family and was not too tired this evening. Driving home was a breeze; I am no longer too anxious behind the wheel unless I am really tired. The drive some what relaxes me in the evening, nice weather, relaxing radio, no traffic, etc.
I am going to get more sleep tonight (hopefully) and we will see how i feel in the morning.
Breakfast: one egg, whole wheat bagel, green tea
Lunch: ham and cheese on wheat apple, soda
Dinner: penne pasta, chicken, brocolli
Snack: some M&Ms, 2 Natural Valley bars, banana
Exercise: none
I do not know if the therapy is helping yet. Maybe because its early in the morning, but I am not gaining too much. I have only had three sessions, but it still cost 160 a session and that is adding up. To her benefit, she has given me some tips about going to the gym and positive self talking, but its still easier said than done. She told me anytime I feel anxious, tired, nervous, sick, or am worrying, to tell myself "This is normal... its ok to be tired...etc". I don't know, i will try but I just do not know how much that will help.
I was exhausted during my therapy and my first few hours of work. I felt better after lunch. I have felt better every day after lunch, but I do not think it has anything to do with what I am eating. I socialize with my co workers at lunch, which I think gives me energy. I do have soda (containing caffeine) but I have green tea in the morning. I also had a soda around 4 today when I got tired and this did not help my energy at all. I left by 5 30!
I ate dinner with my family and was not too tired this evening. Driving home was a breeze; I am no longer too anxious behind the wheel unless I am really tired. The drive some what relaxes me in the evening, nice weather, relaxing radio, no traffic, etc.
I am going to get more sleep tonight (hopefully) and we will see how i feel in the morning.
Breakfast: one egg, whole wheat bagel, green tea
Lunch: ham and cheese on wheat apple, soda
Dinner: penne pasta, chicken, brocolli
Snack: some M&Ms, 2 Natural Valley bars, banana
Exercise: none
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Day 23
I woke up fine, but slow as usual. However, once I got moving I felt weird and light headed for the first time in awhile. I remember making breakfast and feeling just really anxious. It went away while I ate, and I got in the shower and went to work. (took the pill in the morning as usual)
When I got to work, I was exhausted. I really felt like I was going to pass out this morning. I sat staring at my computer screen. I began to get anxious and panicky and started to do the routine I do when I get so anxious I leave. I made sure I had my xanax (though I knew I had my xanax), I called / emailed my father to see where he was, and I got a glass of water. I sometimes feel like caffeine would help and think about getting a soda before lunch instead of during, but I did not.
I never needed the xanax and this panicky feeling finally went away maybe 40 minutes after it started.
I ate lunch and was semi productive all afternoon. I stayed at work a little later than usual and came home.
I am pretty tired, but what else is new. I didn't go to the gym like I planned. I keep putting it off and off to "I will go tomorrow..." " I will go this weekend....", and so on. I see my psychologist tomorrow and she is going to ask if I went since she wanted me to try and go to break the negative pairing of nausea and the gym. But its impossible to go when I have absolutely no energy.
If anyone has any tips or experiences with this low energy please email me or post it. I have increase my caffeine a little, but I have not seen any positive effect from this. I just want to see if anyone else has had problems with energy and problems with motivating one self to exercise. Thanks!
Breakfast: 2 eggs, whole wheat bagel, green tea
Lunch: Ham and cheese on wheat, apple, cherry zero soda
Dinner: Left over raviolis and chicken, glass of wine
Snack: Banana, Naturals valley bar
Exercise: None
When I got to work, I was exhausted. I really felt like I was going to pass out this morning. I sat staring at my computer screen. I began to get anxious and panicky and started to do the routine I do when I get so anxious I leave. I made sure I had my xanax (though I knew I had my xanax), I called / emailed my father to see where he was, and I got a glass of water. I sometimes feel like caffeine would help and think about getting a soda before lunch instead of during, but I did not.
I never needed the xanax and this panicky feeling finally went away maybe 40 minutes after it started.
I ate lunch and was semi productive all afternoon. I stayed at work a little later than usual and came home.
I am pretty tired, but what else is new. I didn't go to the gym like I planned. I keep putting it off and off to "I will go tomorrow..." " I will go this weekend....", and so on. I see my psychologist tomorrow and she is going to ask if I went since she wanted me to try and go to break the negative pairing of nausea and the gym. But its impossible to go when I have absolutely no energy.
If anyone has any tips or experiences with this low energy please email me or post it. I have increase my caffeine a little, but I have not seen any positive effect from this. I just want to see if anyone else has had problems with energy and problems with motivating one self to exercise. Thanks!
Breakfast: 2 eggs, whole wheat bagel, green tea
Lunch: Ham and cheese on wheat, apple, cherry zero soda
Dinner: Left over raviolis and chicken, glass of wine
Snack: Banana, Naturals valley bar
Exercise: None
Monday, March 9, 2009
Day 22
I woke up a little late and a little tired. Once I got going, I started my work day from home. I did have some green tea with breakfast this morning. I didn't really react at all to the caffeine. It didn't wake me up and I didn't feel nauseous. I will try again tomorrow. I am going to build up to coffee this weekend.
Around 10 or 11, my right ear was ringing more than usual. I have noticed it more and more through out the day. I went for a walk around noon and noticed it. I went to work around 1 and finished my day in the office (change of scenery) . My ear rang there.
This evening I have counted three times where the ringing bothered me.
I did, however, call my psychiatrist to get her opinion. She got back to me this evening. She said that ringing in the ear is a side effect, not as common, but still a side effect. She said I can still develop side effects three weeks into taking the medicine. I have three choices: stop lexapro and try a new drug, lower my dose, or ride it out. I am going to ride it out for the rest of the week. My mother has ear problems and her doctor recommends dynatap (spelling) for drying liquid in the ear. If it gets real bad, I am going to my General doctor to get it checked out.
Other than that, I have been tired, but not too bad. This evening I had a few ounces of wine. I don't drink wine; I am a beer and whisky man. But right now, my body is rejecting beer, so I am starting to experiment to see what happens. The wine settled this weekend, so I drank more to a point where I was slightly buzzed, and didn't feel sick. I am not going to try and get drunk, but this weekend I am going to increase the amount of wine to see what happens.
Breakfast: Oatmeal + tea
Lunch: Top roman + peanut butter and jelly on wheat
Dinner: Cheese raviolis, Chicken Thigh, broccoli + asparagus
Snack: Naturals valley bar, two apple sauce cups, an apple, a cherry soda zero
Exercise: Walk around the block
Around 10 or 11, my right ear was ringing more than usual. I have noticed it more and more through out the day. I went for a walk around noon and noticed it. I went to work around 1 and finished my day in the office (change of scenery) . My ear rang there.
This evening I have counted three times where the ringing bothered me.
I did, however, call my psychiatrist to get her opinion. She got back to me this evening. She said that ringing in the ear is a side effect, not as common, but still a side effect. She said I can still develop side effects three weeks into taking the medicine. I have three choices: stop lexapro and try a new drug, lower my dose, or ride it out. I am going to ride it out for the rest of the week. My mother has ear problems and her doctor recommends dynatap (spelling) for drying liquid in the ear. If it gets real bad, I am going to my General doctor to get it checked out.
Other than that, I have been tired, but not too bad. This evening I had a few ounces of wine. I don't drink wine; I am a beer and whisky man. But right now, my body is rejecting beer, so I am starting to experiment to see what happens. The wine settled this weekend, so I drank more to a point where I was slightly buzzed, and didn't feel sick. I am not going to try and get drunk, but this weekend I am going to increase the amount of wine to see what happens.
Breakfast: Oatmeal + tea
Lunch: Top roman + peanut butter and jelly on wheat
Dinner: Cheese raviolis, Chicken Thigh, broccoli + asparagus
Snack: Naturals valley bar, two apple sauce cups, an apple, a cherry soda zero
Exercise: Walk around the block
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Day 21
I was not tired when going to bed last night. This sucked, because I had to get up early plus loosing an hour of sleep. I woke up completely unmotivated to do what I had to do, but I managed.
I'm just going to say it, I feel better but its really hard to get up in the morning. I know that after an hour or so of being up, I will have more energy, but there are so many times during that first hour that I want to go back to bed. Tomorrow morning, I am going to try caffeine in the form of tea for the first time in probably a month. If that goes well, I am going to finally try coffee again on another day and see what happens.
Anyways, most of this morning I was pretty tired and did not really have an energy boost to after lunch time. I was at a brunch, but I did not eat that much.
I got home around 3 30 ish and I washed my car. Afterwards, I did some stuff on the internet. I layed down for a second, and before I knew it, I had fallen asleep for about 2 hours. I was going to go to the gym with my roommate, but he pulled out and I am too tired to try going by myself.
Even with my nap, I am still really tired. Hopefully this tiredness is from my lack of sleep last night, but I do not know.
Someone recommended making a list of things I want to accomplish for the day. I think I am going to start doing that as well as make goals of experimentation with the things that I have been hesitant to try (coffee, alcohol, gym, I am sure there are others). I keep telling myself I will drink this, or I will go to the gym, but I never end up doing it. I think writing down that "on tuesday night at 7 pm, I am going to the gym..." will help.
Breakfast: two eggs and oatmeal
Lunch: picked on honey baked ham, brownies, and fruit salad
Dinner: chicken theigh and peanut butter and jelly sandwich
Exercise: none
I'm just going to say it, I feel better but its really hard to get up in the morning. I know that after an hour or so of being up, I will have more energy, but there are so many times during that first hour that I want to go back to bed. Tomorrow morning, I am going to try caffeine in the form of tea for the first time in probably a month. If that goes well, I am going to finally try coffee again on another day and see what happens.
Anyways, most of this morning I was pretty tired and did not really have an energy boost to after lunch time. I was at a brunch, but I did not eat that much.
I got home around 3 30 ish and I washed my car. Afterwards, I did some stuff on the internet. I layed down for a second, and before I knew it, I had fallen asleep for about 2 hours. I was going to go to the gym with my roommate, but he pulled out and I am too tired to try going by myself.
Even with my nap, I am still really tired. Hopefully this tiredness is from my lack of sleep last night, but I do not know.
Someone recommended making a list of things I want to accomplish for the day. I think I am going to start doing that as well as make goals of experimentation with the things that I have been hesitant to try (coffee, alcohol, gym, I am sure there are others). I keep telling myself I will drink this, or I will go to the gym, but I never end up doing it. I think writing down that "on tuesday night at 7 pm, I am going to the gym..." will help.
Breakfast: two eggs and oatmeal
Lunch: picked on honey baked ham, brownies, and fruit salad
Dinner: chicken theigh and peanut butter and jelly sandwich
Exercise: none
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Day 19 + 20
Thursday night and Friday night I slept fine; sleep has become a problem of the past and I hope it stays like that.
Friday was a slow day at work. I am still waking up exhausted in the mornings, and I was slow to get to work, but once there I feel more normal than I did before I started lexapro. I had a phone meeting which I was not anxious about at all. It was almost to the point where I didn't care and did not thing to prepare for this meeting. Maybe it was because its Friday, but there was a lack of motivation or caring at work.
That night I decided not to go out. With this beautiful weather, I thought I would try and go running, but I still can't manage to get myself to do that.
I had an old friend come over and hang out. I decided to try having a beer to see how my stomach would handle it. It took me awhile to drink one beer, but I was able to hold it down. However, I became really tired after wards, but it was almost 12 30 am, so I guess that could be normal.
Saturday I was suppose to wake up a little earlier and spend some time with my family. I slept in and when my father called to see if I wanted a ride to meet up with them, I decided I was too tired to go. They understand that I am trying to get healthier / mentally better, so they didn't get mad. It was just still disappointing to me that I was so exhausted that I would rather sleep in than spend sometime with them.
That after noon, I forced my self to get out of the house and I met a friend for lunch. I walked around the city with her, which was relaxing and came home.
Tonight I tried drinking a little wine, and my stomach feels fine. I have never been a wine drinking, but I am beginning to experiment to see how my stomach reacts to different liquids. I feel fine, not full, but I am not drinking to get drunk. Next week, I may drink a more to see how I would really react if I were to get drunk.
I am about to go to bed. My ear has begun to ring again, but my head does not hurt. I have noticed in the last couple of days that the more tired I am, the more my ears ring / slightly hurt. I say slightly, because its a sudden sharp pain but immediately goes away.
Friday:
Breakfast: english muffin, two eggs
Lunch: Tofu soup, green tea
Dinner: Penne Pasta, Asparagus, Broccoli
Snack: Apple, banana, one clementine, natural valleys, apple sauce, some peanut m&ms, soda
Saturday
Breakfast: Oatmeal, banana
Lunch: Turkey, ham, swiss sandwich on wheat
Dinner: Chicken, Top roman, ham and cheese sandwich
**Remember to turn your clocks ahead an hour!!!!
Friday was a slow day at work. I am still waking up exhausted in the mornings, and I was slow to get to work, but once there I feel more normal than I did before I started lexapro. I had a phone meeting which I was not anxious about at all. It was almost to the point where I didn't care and did not thing to prepare for this meeting. Maybe it was because its Friday, but there was a lack of motivation or caring at work.
That night I decided not to go out. With this beautiful weather, I thought I would try and go running, but I still can't manage to get myself to do that.
I had an old friend come over and hang out. I decided to try having a beer to see how my stomach would handle it. It took me awhile to drink one beer, but I was able to hold it down. However, I became really tired after wards, but it was almost 12 30 am, so I guess that could be normal.
Saturday I was suppose to wake up a little earlier and spend some time with my family. I slept in and when my father called to see if I wanted a ride to meet up with them, I decided I was too tired to go. They understand that I am trying to get healthier / mentally better, so they didn't get mad. It was just still disappointing to me that I was so exhausted that I would rather sleep in than spend sometime with them.
That after noon, I forced my self to get out of the house and I met a friend for lunch. I walked around the city with her, which was relaxing and came home.
Tonight I tried drinking a little wine, and my stomach feels fine. I have never been a wine drinking, but I am beginning to experiment to see how my stomach reacts to different liquids. I feel fine, not full, but I am not drinking to get drunk. Next week, I may drink a more to see how I would really react if I were to get drunk.
I am about to go to bed. My ear has begun to ring again, but my head does not hurt. I have noticed in the last couple of days that the more tired I am, the more my ears ring / slightly hurt. I say slightly, because its a sudden sharp pain but immediately goes away.
Friday:
Breakfast: english muffin, two eggs
Lunch: Tofu soup, green tea
Dinner: Penne Pasta, Asparagus, Broccoli
Snack: Apple, banana, one clementine, natural valleys, apple sauce, some peanut m&ms, soda
Saturday
Breakfast: Oatmeal, banana
Lunch: Turkey, ham, swiss sandwich on wheat
Dinner: Chicken, Top roman, ham and cheese sandwich
**Remember to turn your clocks ahead an hour!!!!
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Day 18
So last night I took the Tylenol for my head ache and it worked much better than the ibuprofen.
I slept fine, but again I woke up exhausted. I had a slight headache, but that was gone by the time I left for work. I was very groggy and slow moving. I usually get to work around 9 30, today I did not leave for work until 9 40ish. Once at work though, I had a good amount of energy. In fact, I was not tired at all today, starting around noon. I didn't feel crazy energetic, but I didn't feel like I could fall asleep as anytime.
I am not going to do anything about this lack of energy until I see my psychiatrist again mid March. However, if my headache returns I will be going back to my doctor.
I want to start to re introduce somethings into my diet. I am going to start with tea, then caffeinated tea, then coffee. I also will experiment with alcohol again. Lastly, I want to start going to the gym again, which I will start this weekend. Yesterday my psychologist thinks I have these negative embedded pairings in my head that I need to break. First is that I always think I will get sick at the gym, so now when I go to the gym I always nauseous. She said I now pair the gym with nausea. She said the same could possibly be with alcohol and caffeine. I need to slowly try to break these pairings.
Breakfast: two eggs, whole wheat english muffin
Lunch: Subway melt sub (Ham, turkey, cheese, whole wheat bread), apple, soda
Diner: Penne Pasta, Caffeine free tea
Snacks: Natural's Valley Bar, 2-3 Clementines, Banana, apple sauce
Exercise: None
***As you probably noticed, I eat mostly the same foods. I do change it up occasionally with rice instead of pasta, oatmeal instead of eggs, steak, chicken, etc...but I eat mostly the same things.
I slept fine, but again I woke up exhausted. I had a slight headache, but that was gone by the time I left for work. I was very groggy and slow moving. I usually get to work around 9 30, today I did not leave for work until 9 40ish. Once at work though, I had a good amount of energy. In fact, I was not tired at all today, starting around noon. I didn't feel crazy energetic, but I didn't feel like I could fall asleep as anytime.
I am not going to do anything about this lack of energy until I see my psychiatrist again mid March. However, if my headache returns I will be going back to my doctor.
I want to start to re introduce somethings into my diet. I am going to start with tea, then caffeinated tea, then coffee. I also will experiment with alcohol again. Lastly, I want to start going to the gym again, which I will start this weekend. Yesterday my psychologist thinks I have these negative embedded pairings in my head that I need to break. First is that I always think I will get sick at the gym, so now when I go to the gym I always nauseous. She said I now pair the gym with nausea. She said the same could possibly be with alcohol and caffeine. I need to slowly try to break these pairings.
Breakfast: two eggs, whole wheat english muffin
Lunch: Subway melt sub (Ham, turkey, cheese, whole wheat bread), apple, soda
Diner: Penne Pasta, Caffeine free tea
Snacks: Natural's Valley Bar, 2-3 Clementines, Banana, apple sauce
Exercise: None
***As you probably noticed, I eat mostly the same foods. I do change it up occasionally with rice instead of pasta, oatmeal instead of eggs, steak, chicken, etc...but I eat mostly the same things.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Clarify one thing
I chose lexapro as a close to last resort. Thankfully, I was not suicidal, but my personality, daily routine, and altogether wellness had slowly vanished starting last fall to a point where I would not leave my room this January.
I tried energy vitamins, changing my exercise routine, and adjusting my diet, thinking maybe I had low blood sugar or any type of blood sugar problems like my siblings.
I tried sleeping more, I didn't drink as much alcohol and I practically stopped drinking caffeine.
I went to my doctor several times and even tried acupuncture. I went to acupuncture five times, plus tried the herbal medicine that the acupuncturist recommended and provided. I tried cognitive therapy on its own, and this did not work for me.
I was on my way on trying to find a new therapist when I just sort of started to break down worse and worse day by day for a week to a point where it was clear I needed help. That is when a psychiatrist was able to fit me in three days later and I started Lexapro.
I wish I did not need to take any type of SSRI to help me feel better. I wanted to beat this on my own, with out any extra chemicals, but it was clear I needed an extra push. I just wanted to clarify that I am happy that this drug is helping me so far, I still wish I didn't need it in the first place and that I would never recommend this to anyone who has 'slight anxiety' or 'occasionally felt blue'.
Thanks for every one's continuing support!
I tried energy vitamins, changing my exercise routine, and adjusting my diet, thinking maybe I had low blood sugar or any type of blood sugar problems like my siblings.
I tried sleeping more, I didn't drink as much alcohol and I practically stopped drinking caffeine.
I went to my doctor several times and even tried acupuncture. I went to acupuncture five times, plus tried the herbal medicine that the acupuncturist recommended and provided. I tried cognitive therapy on its own, and this did not work for me.
I was on my way on trying to find a new therapist when I just sort of started to break down worse and worse day by day for a week to a point where it was clear I needed help. That is when a psychiatrist was able to fit me in three days later and I started Lexapro.
I wish I did not need to take any type of SSRI to help me feel better. I wanted to beat this on my own, with out any extra chemicals, but it was clear I needed an extra push. I just wanted to clarify that I am happy that this drug is helping me so far, I still wish I didn't need it in the first place and that I would never recommend this to anyone who has 'slight anxiety' or 'occasionally felt blue'.
Thanks for every one's continuing support!
Day 17
Last night I got between 6 and 7 hours of sleep. Today is my second day with my new psychologist, who I go to before work every Wednesday.
I woke up feeling really tired. I took my pill with breakfast and headed to the doctors. When I got there, I was exhausted. During my session I felt like I could fall asleep at any moment. I also felt dehydrated, but I do not know where that came from.
I left and went straight to work. Earlier I was still really really tired, but I was able to focus a little bit on work. Again, and i am able to really notice it now, I have more energy when I am focusing on something but when I loose focus I crash. Its like, if I am not 100% stimulated by what I am doing, my energy is drained.
I was feeling better good in the afternoon. I began to get a headache around 2 or 3. I noticed it at first when I coughed. The pain went away, but every time I coughed it hurt like hell. This eventually went away.
I came home and had a large amount of energy. I didn't go to the gym, but I got stuff I wanted to get done here at home. I ate dinner and watched a movie.
During the movie, my headache started to come back. I do not know if its related with the lexapro, but the front right back to my right ear is in pain. If I wake up tomorrow with this, I am going to the doctor. This is the second time since I started lexapro where I have experienced a bad headache. Last time I tried Ibuprofen and it did nothing. I ended up taking a Xanax that night to fall asleep. This time I am trying Tylenol.
Breakfast: Oatmeal, whole wheat english muffin
Lunch: Ham and cheese, whole wheat bread, apple, can of cherry coke zero
Dinner: Spagetti, sausage, brocolli, esparagus, hot chocolate
Snack: Naturals valley bar, 2-4 clementimes, one banana, two cups of apple sauce, handful of hot tamales
Exercise: None
I woke up feeling really tired. I took my pill with breakfast and headed to the doctors. When I got there, I was exhausted. During my session I felt like I could fall asleep at any moment. I also felt dehydrated, but I do not know where that came from.
I left and went straight to work. Earlier I was still really really tired, but I was able to focus a little bit on work. Again, and i am able to really notice it now, I have more energy when I am focusing on something but when I loose focus I crash. Its like, if I am not 100% stimulated by what I am doing, my energy is drained.
I was feeling better good in the afternoon. I began to get a headache around 2 or 3. I noticed it at first when I coughed. The pain went away, but every time I coughed it hurt like hell. This eventually went away.
I came home and had a large amount of energy. I didn't go to the gym, but I got stuff I wanted to get done here at home. I ate dinner and watched a movie.
During the movie, my headache started to come back. I do not know if its related with the lexapro, but the front right back to my right ear is in pain. If I wake up tomorrow with this, I am going to the doctor. This is the second time since I started lexapro where I have experienced a bad headache. Last time I tried Ibuprofen and it did nothing. I ended up taking a Xanax that night to fall asleep. This time I am trying Tylenol.
Breakfast: Oatmeal, whole wheat english muffin
Lunch: Ham and cheese, whole wheat bread, apple, can of cherry coke zero
Dinner: Spagetti, sausage, brocolli, esparagus, hot chocolate
Snack: Naturals valley bar, 2-4 clementimes, one banana, two cups of apple sauce, handful of hot tamales
Exercise: None
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Day 16
I got seven hours of sleep and did not randomly wake up at all. Its has been a few days since I have had disturbances in my sleep and that's a great thing! However, when I did wake up, it was painful to get up. I just did not want to get out of bed, I wanted to stay in my warm bed and sleep all day. But I should be thankful I even have a job to wake up too, so I got up and got ready.
I took my pill with breakfast and left for work. I was actually much more productive at work and didn't find myself looking at the clock every ten minutes. I enjoy what I am currently doing more than what I have been doing the last couple months, so that is probably a big impact, especially since I am debating leaving this company.
I drove to my parents and ate dinner with them and came home. I watched some tv with my roommate and am now about to go to bed.
Because my biggest problem recently has been energy / motivation I am going to include at the end of every post what I ate that day. Maybe someone will notice something completey missing from my diet. Today isn't the healthiest example, but I will continue to do this until I am confident diet has nothing to do with my energy. When I start exercising, I will start including that in my list too.
Breakfast: two eggs, whole wheat english muffin, cup of hot chocolate
Lunch: ham + cheese whole wheat bread, apple, pretzels, + cherry coke
Dinner: two slices of pizza
snacks at Work: banana, two clementimes, Naturals valley bar, and apple sauce
Exercise: None
I took my pill with breakfast and left for work. I was actually much more productive at work and didn't find myself looking at the clock every ten minutes. I enjoy what I am currently doing more than what I have been doing the last couple months, so that is probably a big impact, especially since I am debating leaving this company.
I drove to my parents and ate dinner with them and came home. I watched some tv with my roommate and am now about to go to bed.
Because my biggest problem recently has been energy / motivation I am going to include at the end of every post what I ate that day. Maybe someone will notice something completey missing from my diet. Today isn't the healthiest example, but I will continue to do this until I am confident diet has nothing to do with my energy. When I start exercising, I will start including that in my list too.
Breakfast: two eggs, whole wheat english muffin, cup of hot chocolate
Lunch: ham + cheese whole wheat bread, apple, pretzels, + cherry coke
Dinner: two slices of pizza
snacks at Work: banana, two clementimes, Naturals valley bar, and apple sauce
Exercise: None
Monday, March 2, 2009
Day 15
I had a little trouble sleeping last night and the ringing returned to my ear again. The buzzing never returned, but the ringing bothered me. Once 1 am rolled around, I took a Xanax and was able to fall asleep.
I naturally woke up around 7 am and the ground was covered with snow. There was no way I could go to work yet, so I thought to go to bed. I ended up getting back up and shoveling my drive way and helped my roommate shovel out his car since he can't work from home. I then went back to bed and ended up sleeping until 11 30 am. I was not motivated to do anything for work, and I had a meeting at 2 pm to introduce me to my new project and team. I wasn't stressed or worried for the meeting, I just had no motivation or energy to care. Once I woke up, I made lunch, and was able to focus a little.
After my meeting, the roads were clearer and I decided to drive into my office since I was getting no work done at home. Once at work, I was able to get more done and was more productive even though there were only two of us in the entire office.
I came home happy that I accomplished somethings, made dinner, and watched another movie with my roommate. I am currently tired and plan on trying to fall asleep when I finish this post.
I really want to figure out this energy thing. The first day I was with the psychiatrist, she did not understand this extreme lack of energy. Again, I feel 100 times more energetic than I did two weeks ago, but I am still overly tired at weird parts of the day. I am hoping that with getting over this depression my energy will return, but we will see.
I naturally woke up around 7 am and the ground was covered with snow. There was no way I could go to work yet, so I thought to go to bed. I ended up getting back up and shoveling my drive way and helped my roommate shovel out his car since he can't work from home. I then went back to bed and ended up sleeping until 11 30 am. I was not motivated to do anything for work, and I had a meeting at 2 pm to introduce me to my new project and team. I wasn't stressed or worried for the meeting, I just had no motivation or energy to care. Once I woke up, I made lunch, and was able to focus a little.
After my meeting, the roads were clearer and I decided to drive into my office since I was getting no work done at home. Once at work, I was able to get more done and was more productive even though there were only two of us in the entire office.
I came home happy that I accomplished somethings, made dinner, and watched another movie with my roommate. I am currently tired and plan on trying to fall asleep when I finish this post.
I really want to figure out this energy thing. The first day I was with the psychiatrist, she did not understand this extreme lack of energy. Again, I feel 100 times more energetic than I did two weeks ago, but I am still overly tired at weird parts of the day. I am hoping that with getting over this depression my energy will return, but we will see.
Two week progress - Thanks for emails and tips
I started Lexapro two weeks ago today (Monday). For me and so far, I believe the positive benefits have out weighed the negative. With that said, I have learned that for me:
Please feel free to email me anything at anytime. I am no doctor and far from an expert, but I have found that discussing / emailing people going through the same thing as I am has been beneficial.
- I must take the pill with food to help prevent nausea
- taking the pill at night messes with my sleep (messed up dreams, randomly waking up, etc)
- always have my xanax with me, because I have had to randomly take it
- I want to be able to enjoy alcohol / caffeine again
- I want an increase in energy and a consistent amount of energy during the day
- I want to gain back my old motivation to do more both socially and for work
Please feel free to email me anything at anytime. I am no doctor and far from an expert, but I have found that discussing / emailing people going through the same thing as I am has been beneficial.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Day 13 + Day 14 - weekend
I had no energy last night, so I am combining yesterday and today's posting.
My weekends are a joke. In college they were a joke because I would spend most of the day in bed, hung over; then spend the night getting drunk. I would be dreading Sunday evenings, knowing I had to start studying and getting school work done.
I continue to spend my Saturday and Sundays in bed. Saturday I woke up around 10 30 am, made lunch, took my pill, and went back to bed. I watched a movie from bed, and didn't really leave my room until 6 pm. Sunday, I slept until 12 55 pm. Sunday I did almost the exact same thing except I watched a movie with one of my house mates and went to the grocery store.
Last weekend I slept in a little too. Maybe I have no motivation to get up on the weekends, because there is nothing I have to do. No work and I don't go to the gym anymore (which bothers the hell out of me).
I took my pill around noon both Saturday and Sunday, rather than 8 30 am like during the week. I wonder if this had to do with my lack of energy or lack of motivation to get up.
My dry mouth has been bothering me a little more this weekend, especially Sunday. Its like when you have dry mouth so you keep your tongue up against the roof of your mouth and behind your teeth. My teeth have also been a little sore. I caught myself biting down on my teeth during the day, especially when I was anxious. I never had problems grinding teeth or anything like that, so I do not know where this is coming from. Maybe it is related to my dry mouth. If I wake up tomorrow morning and this is bothering me, I am going to call my psychiatrist and ask.
I think this week is going to be interesting. I start a new project and will be meeting / working with all new people. The weather is also pretty bad and I always get anxious driving in bad weather. I use to just take precautions and that was enough, but now I get super nervous during bad weather (beware Northern Virginia drivers...just kidding).
My weekends are a joke. In college they were a joke because I would spend most of the day in bed, hung over; then spend the night getting drunk. I would be dreading Sunday evenings, knowing I had to start studying and getting school work done.
I continue to spend my Saturday and Sundays in bed. Saturday I woke up around 10 30 am, made lunch, took my pill, and went back to bed. I watched a movie from bed, and didn't really leave my room until 6 pm. Sunday, I slept until 12 55 pm. Sunday I did almost the exact same thing except I watched a movie with one of my house mates and went to the grocery store.
Last weekend I slept in a little too. Maybe I have no motivation to get up on the weekends, because there is nothing I have to do. No work and I don't go to the gym anymore (which bothers the hell out of me).
I took my pill around noon both Saturday and Sunday, rather than 8 30 am like during the week. I wonder if this had to do with my lack of energy or lack of motivation to get up.
My dry mouth has been bothering me a little more this weekend, especially Sunday. Its like when you have dry mouth so you keep your tongue up against the roof of your mouth and behind your teeth. My teeth have also been a little sore. I caught myself biting down on my teeth during the day, especially when I was anxious. I never had problems grinding teeth or anything like that, so I do not know where this is coming from. Maybe it is related to my dry mouth. If I wake up tomorrow morning and this is bothering me, I am going to call my psychiatrist and ask.
I think this week is going to be interesting. I start a new project and will be meeting / working with all new people. The weather is also pretty bad and I always get anxious driving in bad weather. I use to just take precautions and that was enough, but now I get super nervous during bad weather (beware Northern Virginia drivers...just kidding).
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