Day 23

I woke up fine, but slow as usual. However, once I got moving I felt weird and light headed for the first time in awhile. I remember making breakfast and feeling just really anxious. It went away while I ate, and I got in the shower and went to work. (took the pill in the morning as usual)

When I got to work, I was exhausted. I really felt like I was going to pass out this morning. I sat staring at my computer screen. I began to get anxious and panicky and started to do the routine I do when I get so anxious I leave. I made sure I had my xanax (though I knew I had my xanax), I called / emailed my father to see where he was, and I got a glass of water. I sometimes feel like caffeine would help and think about getting a soda before lunch instead of during, but I did not.

I never needed the xanax and this panicky feeling finally went away maybe 40 minutes after it started.

I ate lunch and was semi productive all afternoon. I stayed at work a little later than usual and came home.

I am pretty tired, but what else is new. I didn't go to the gym like I planned. I keep putting it off and off to "I will go tomorrow..." " I will go this weekend....", and so on. I see my psychologist tomorrow and she is going to ask if I went since she wanted me to try and go to break the negative pairing of nausea and the gym. But its impossible to go when I have absolutely no energy.

If anyone has any tips or experiences with this low energy please email me or post it. I have increase my caffeine a little, but I have not seen any positive effect from this. I just want to see if anyone else has had problems with energy and problems with motivating one self to exercise. Thanks!

Breakfast: 2 eggs, whole wheat bagel, green tea
Lunch: Ham and cheese on wheat, apple, cherry zero soda
Dinner: Left over raviolis and chicken, glass of wine
Snack: Banana, Naturals valley bar
Exercise: None

Day 21

I was not tired when going to bed last night. This sucked, because I had to get up early plus loosing an hour of sleep. I woke up completely unmotivated to do what I had to do, but I managed.

I'm just going to say it, I feel better but its really hard to get up in the morning. I know that after an hour or so of being up, I will have more energy, but there are so many times during that first hour that I want to go back to bed. Tomorrow morning, I am going to try caffeine in the form of tea for the first time in probably a month. If that goes well, I am going to finally try coffee again on another day and see what happens.

Anyways, most of this morning I was pretty tired and did not really have an energy boost to after lunch time. I was at a brunch, but I did not eat that much.

I got home around 3 30 ish and I washed my car. Afterwards, I did some stuff on the internet. I layed down for a second, and before I knew it, I had fallen asleep for about 2 hours. I was going to go to the gym with my roommate, but he pulled out and I am too tired to try going by myself.

Even with my nap, I am still really tired. Hopefully this tiredness is from my lack of sleep last night, but I do not know.

Someone recommended making a list of things I want to accomplish for the day. I think I am going to start doing that as well as make goals of experimentation with the things that I have been hesitant to try (coffee, alcohol, gym, I am sure there are others). I keep telling myself I will drink this, or I will go to the gym, but I never end up doing it. I think writing down that "on tuesday night at 7 pm, I am going to the gym..." will help.

Breakfast: two eggs and oatmeal
Lunch: picked on honey baked ham, brownies, and fruit salad
Dinner: chicken theigh and peanut butter and jelly sandwich
Exercise: none

Day 3 - 5 mg in the morning, 5 mg at night

Around 10 AM, I took 5 mg plus .25 xanax with my breakfast. I have more energy than usual and have been able to accomplish more work than I have in awhile. This could be a placebo effect, but I do feel better than I did 24 hours ago.

I grow tired as the day goes by, maybe because of boredom with my work or maybe because I work alone. When this would happen, I would get up and walk around. This would temporarily relieve me, but I would again grow tired.

I ate dinner with my parents around 7 - 7 30, taking the same cocktail as before (5 mg plus .25 xanax with food) and relaxed before going to bed. Again, no disturbances of sleep.

Day 2 - 5 mgs at night

After getting off the phone with my doctor, I worked from home. I was tired most of the day and felt worse than I have in awhile. This most likely had to do with my lack of sleep and my body being introduced to Lexapro. I was confused, dizzy, and could not focus on the simplest of tasks. I was sick of being alone, so I went to my parents house for dinner and ended up spending the night there.

I took 5 mg of lexapro with a .25 mg of xanax during dinner. Small talking with my parents I regained some energy until I went to bed around 10 30 pm. I had no disturbances during my sleep and woke up around 9 am the next day.